Tuesday - Anticipating Insomnia

[ninanevermore]

I won't sleep well tonight. I'm hoping that in not sleeping well, I'll still be awake at 5 A.M. when I have to get up, and not fall asleep at 4:30 A.M. and sleep through the alarm only wake up at 7:30. Since my new commute is 40 miles (city miles, not highway miles) I could not make it there by 8 A.M. if that happened, even if I had a helicopter (and I don't).

I know I won't sleep well because I have been able to sleep the night before a first day of anything. As a child, I never slept well before the first day of school. I always slept well after it, though, because I was so exhausted. Later when I worked as a temp after college, I never slept well the night before a new assignment. A series of short term assignments messed with my circadian rhythms something awful, as I would miss sleep every couple of days.

I hate beginnings as much as I hate endings. I like the middle part the best, where you have enough room in front of you to move forward with confidence and enough room behind you to be comfortable on the path you're on.

But I guess you can't reach the middle unless you start a new beginning. My goal is run toward the middle as fast as I can, and then start dragging my feet so I don't reach the end too fast. I'll let you know how that works out.


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Comments

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Obviously, you have never worked for a bankrupt corporation with the ax of unemployment hanging over you head for years at a time. I still thing endings suck.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

"Once its fall is certain, there is no more need for struggle, only acceptance..."

Just like drowning.

That's my ranking of things exactly. Some endings are okay (suck as your hospital stay is over and you get to go home), but mostly I like to be certain of the terrain under my feet.