Thursday - The Card

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about Mother's Day and how every year I have a hard time finding just the right card to buy for That Woman My Father Is Married To. Mother's Day is less than a month away, so I need to start looking for one now. You see, greeting cards are funny things for my family. They are exchanged on certain holidays for reasons having more to do with diplomacy than affection.

Hallmark Cards does not print a Mother's Day card that suits my needs. They have cards for stepmothers, but they all have lines in them that say, "you are so much like a real mother to me and I'm so glad to have you as a part of my life." I would sooner gouge my eyes out with a hot fire poker than send That Woman My Father Is Married To a card like that. I'm not looking for an honest, heartfelt greeting card. Hallmark would not print one that really expresses my sentiments:

To My Stepmother:
I don't really like you very much,
but I hope that your Mother's Day is not unpleasant.
All I want is a card that says,

To My Stepmother:
Have a Happy Mother's Day.
That's all I want to say.

I don't want to say anything about love or affection or give any indication of a parental bond. Just a mid-priced card with a pleasant picture on it that those of us who have a stepmother that we don't care much about can send in order to be diplomatic and that will keep us in the good graces of our fathers. No one prints this card, though, or at least I haven't been able to find one in the 15 years I've been searching for one. If some greeting card company somewhere would print it, I bet it would be a best seller.

For the record, I'm a step mother myself. I like my stepson, though I rarely see him. He's a good kid. But since I had no part in raising him, I would not expect him to buy me a card telling me that he loves me as much as the mother who did. That would be silly and insincere on both of our parts.

Families don't always blend as well as the people at Hallmark Cards seem to think they do. I have known people who really do love their stepparents as much as or more than their biological parents. When that happens, I think that it's great. Love and affection are good things, and having them for the people in your family and in your life in general are also good things. I'm all for it, and in a perfect world as families would blend so beautifully. However, not all families produce a smooth blend. There are plenty that end up with a lumpy mix of conflicting personalities and viewpoints. I can't count the number of people who, hearing me call my stepmother "That Woman My Father Is Married To," comment with, "Yeah, my Dad has one of those, too."

Maybe someday, the printers of greeting cards will hear my plea and each year offer up just one Mother's Day card that is friendly, but not insipidly affectionate. Until then, I will buy the cards that say something like, "To a really nice person in my life / I hope your Mother's Day brings you everything you deserve!" I'm not sure who exactly the intended recipients of these cards are, but I'm fairly certain that they go out to a lot of stepmothers. I'm hoping mine won't ask me what exactly I think she deserves for Mother's Day, either. Telling her would not keep me in my father's good graces, and I will have wasted $3.50 on the card.

Comments

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

"Bite Me?"

[uawildcatgrl.livejournal.com]

Now there's a sentiment...I think you should write for hallmark!

;P