Thursday - Resolutions

[ninanevermore]

Today on the drive into work, I thought about New Year's resolutions and how glad I am that I don't make them any more.

I figured out years ago that the best way to doom a goal is to turn it into a New Years Resolution. Until I resolved to make no more resolutions, I broke every single one of them that I made, usually by mid January.

Sure, I still want to lose weight. I want to start that novel. I want to paint my house and buy new furniture. I want to do these things so bad that I refuse to sabotage any these goals by saying, "This year I resolve to..." I'll just leave them as plain vanilla goals, to make and break as I see fit.

Losing weight is a hard one. The only way I was ever able to successfully lose weight when I was younger was to have my heart broken. When my heart was ripped out and crushed to smithereens, all food tasted like cardboard and I worked out religiously to burn off all of the anger. Within a month or two, I looked great.

Since my husband and I have been a couple for 16 years now, it's been very hard to shed any pounds. I tried to get his help with this once.

"I need you to break up with me," I told him.

"What? Break up with you? Why?" he asked.

I explained how the weight loss thing worked. "Just say you've found someone new and you don't want me anymore," I told him, "After I lose all the weight and I'm looking really great, we can get back together."

"I don't want to break up with you. I love you. I'd miss you. I won't do it," he told me, "If you really want to lose weight, find some other way."

Men: they never come through for you when you really need them to.

Comments

[mysticknyght.livejournal.com]

ah, you're a confident one, I like that :-)