Thursday - Resolutions

[ninanevermore]

Today on the drive into work, I thought about New Year's resolutions and how glad I am that I don't make them any more.

I figured out years ago that the best way to doom a goal is to turn it into a New Years Resolution. Until I resolved to make no more resolutions, I broke every single one of them that I made, usually by mid January.

Sure, I still want to lose weight. I want to start that novel. I want to paint my house and buy new furniture. I want to do these things so bad that I refuse to sabotage any these goals by saying, "This year I resolve to..." I'll just leave them as plain vanilla goals, to make and break as I see fit.

Losing weight is a hard one. The only way I was ever able to successfully lose weight when I was younger was to have my heart broken. When my heart was ripped out and crushed to smithereens, all food tasted like cardboard and I worked out religiously to burn off all of the anger. Within a month or two, I looked great.

Since my husband and I have been a couple for 16 years now, it's been very hard to shed any pounds. I tried to get his help with this once.

"I need you to break up with me," I told him.

"What? Break up with you? Why?" he asked.

I explained how the weight loss thing worked. "Just say you've found someone new and you don't want me anymore," I told him, "After I lose all the weight and I'm looking really great, we can get back together."

"I don't want to break up with you. I love you. I'd miss you. I won't do it," he told me, "If you really want to lose weight, find some other way."

Men: they never come through for you when you really need them to.

Comments

[rampantchaos78.livejournal.com]

I have jumped ship on the loosing weight thing. I only need to get rid of about 20 lbs. But since I am no longer a spring chicken, I have said what the hell with it. If you dont like me dont look at me. And I dont even really miss being oogled on the beach in a bikini. If a man is interested in me now, its for real interest instead of being some dimwit trophy girlfriend...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Since my husband refuses to leave me, I guess I'll have to stop dwelling on it, too. :P

[diabological.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm on that diet. I affectionately call it "the anxiety diet". It isn't working quite as well as i would like though because my car is dead which means no trips to the gym for now.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Do sit ups with your feet under the living room couch. You can work out at home.

The diet always ended well for me. By the time I lost all the weight, the anger has set in and I was full of all this wonderful energy and rage. Then I started thinking, "Dump me? Ha! I deserve better! For that matter, no one is good enough for me. Let them all kiss my ass." My confidence, disinterest and disdain attracted the next man like a bee to a flower. (They're weird like that).

If you're lucky, the cycle stops repeating and you find the right one. It took me a few tries, to tell the truth. Now I'm chubbier than I'd like to be, but happy.

[mysticknyght.livejournal.com]

see, he shoulda asked "do i get to have a bunch of young girlfriends or bring home the occasional drunk MILF while you're losing weight? :-P

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

As long as we were broken up, I guess I wouldn't be allowed to complain.

I wouldn't have worried too much, though. Happily, he's out of practice picking up women and by the time he figured out how to do it again, we would have been back together.

[mysticknyght.livejournal.com]

ah, you're a confident one, I like that :-)