Wednesday – Yes, He Kisses His Mother With That Mouth

[ninanevermore]

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The other night my 5 year old son was snuggling down in my bed for story time (it's a bed we both – or all three, if my husband is home – fit in for our bedtime ritual) when he felt cold. Frustrated that I couldn't read his mind, he barked out: "I'm cold! Put the damn blanket on me, okay!?"

My own parents would have swatted my bottom for both my shouting at them and swearing. I don't think they were aware at how much they were aware of how much they both used the word damn, but small children were expected to know instinctively that the word was reserved for grownups.

"What did you say?" I asked my scowling little Sweet Pea.

"I said I was cold and I wanted you to put the damn blanket on me."

"One, don't shout at me. Ever. Two, you're not allowed to use the word damn. It's not a nice word."

"You use it." Oh, sure, throw that one in my face.

"Yeah, but I shouldn't. Tell you what, if you hear me use it, remind me that it's not a nice word and I'll say I'm sorry. When you start school, if you use a word like that you'll get in big trouble and they'll send you to the principle's office." I'm not sure if he knows what a school principle is or what happens in their offices, but he looked concerned. The only offices he has experience with are doctor's offices, and he knows he doesn't like those places.

"Why do you use it?"

"Because sometimes I get frustrated and I say it, but it's still naughty and I shouldn't."

"Well, I was frustrated. I was cold and I wanted the blanket on me and your legs were on it."

"Then ask nicely. No shouting and no using bad words."

He signed dramatically. "Oooohkay."

I thought I've caught him saying the word before, but I never could be sure. Occasionally, in a moment of exasperation, I've heard him say, "Damn!" so softly under his breath that I couldn't be sure I'd even heard it. When I asked what he said, he always either said nothing, or actually said, "I didn't say anything." He said it the way he hears it from the two adults in his life who say it ever-so-quietly in order to voice our irritation while hoping that the sound does not make it to the impressionable pair of little ears in the room.

Obviously, our quiet isn't quiet enough. We need to try harder.

Damn, but that's not going to be easy.



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Comments

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

The hardest part about raising children is watching our own language and rude comments, because they WILL repeat it....in public.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

True, too true. *sigh*

[magsmom.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, been there, done that.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I think every parent has. They are like little mirrors, and we have to remember to act in a way we want to see reflected back.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

When Con was a little one, we had squirrels that kept making their way into the walls and my sister would bang on the wall and yell at them (steroids make a person cranky). One day we were downstairs and Con said, "*sigh* They're back again!" I said, "Who?" He said, "The bastards"
I said, "I *beg* your pardon?" He repeated, "The bastards!"
I looked at him and said, "What in the world are you talking about?" He said, "The squirrels. The bastards are back again."

Apparently, that is what my sister would exclaim before running into the kitchen to menace them out of the walls.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I think the hardest part of correcting them when they do this stuff is trying to do it with a straight face. :)

[drippedonpaper.livejournal.com]

I have to say, the icon is perfect with your title:)

My husband hates it if I even say, "Heck" Which leads to discussions with my 6 yo, "You said Heck, isn't that a bad word? If I can't say it, why can you?" etc.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

"Heck" is only a semi-bad word, since it's a well-known stand in for "Hell." I was always confused about why my Sunday School teacher was allowed to say Hell when talking about the place, but I wasn't allowed to say it as an exclamation.

OK: "Be good or you'll go to Hell."

NOT OK: "What the Hell is that!?"

I know, I got smacked for saying that very thing.

[sidneymintz.livejournal.com]

Damn that's cute :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it's one of those things that has to be nipped in the bud; he starts school next year, and I don't want any calls from his teacher because he told her to "get her damn butt" out of his way because she was standing in front of the chalk board and he couldn't see what was on it.

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

I'm quite curious to see if this lesson sticks. Since I don't have kids, I'm always interested in the "logical explanation" vs. "bottom swatting" approaches.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I go for the mixed approach. For a first offense when they might not be aware of a rule, you go with a logical explanation and a statement of what the rules are. Subsequent offenses get punishment.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

It's amazing what kids pick up. My kids haven't pulled that on me yet. Kind of crazy. I've caught each of them saying "stupid" or something, but not actually a cuss word. And it's crazy since I say all sorts of not nice words around my kids. >.<

*HUGS*

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Some kids seem to know instinctively that the words an angry grownup says are reserved only for angry grown ups. Others (like mine) like to see what they can get away with.

*hugs Dawn back*

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

My 6yo daughter has been taught by her school that "stupid" is a bad word. We keep explaining that it's not always bad... sometimes, it's merely descriptive (esp. when referring to boys). :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Even when it's descriptive, it's still insulting. Better to go with, "Sometimes boys just do silly things." Because they do.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I run an in-home daycare and "stupid" and "shut up" are bad words. Not cuss words, mind you, but words you don't use in my house unless you're a grown up. :P We've had that rule in our house for our own kids since the oldest started to talk. Not everyone agrees, but what people do in their own homes is their business. What they do in my house is mine. LOL

Though I do agree that it's an apt description when it comes to boys. LOL I have 4 girls...so yeah.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I sometimes get fussed at by my son for saying "Shut up!" I never say it to a person or to him, but occasionally I will activate one of his noise-making toys on accident (there is a particularly annoying Bob The Builder work bench that likes to exclaim "Can we fix it!?" that I hate) and I tell the toy to shut up.

"Mommy! You said a bad word!"

I have to apologize to boy my son and the toy when that happens.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

LOL