Thursday – Kissing Stoplights

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about how my old friend Patty still influences my behavior, even though it's been a couple years since I last saw her. This occurred to me as I was kissing stoplights this morning – three of them – which is something I would never have thought of doing if Patty had not come into my life.

Those of you unfamiliar with the practice might wonder why and how one would kiss a stoplight. You kiss them when you enter an intersection where the light has been yellow for a few seconds already. If the light stays yellow until you are through or almost through the intersection, you kiss it to tell it thanks. If it turns red as you enter the intersection and puts you at risk for getting a traffic ticket, it does not get a kiss, because it was mean to you.

I had never heard of the practice until Patty began to ride to work with me. Once morning as I sped through a yellow light, Patty kissed her fingertips and then slapped them on the ceiling of my car as we drove beneath the light.

I was intrigued. Because this was Patty, I had to ask about it in a manner consistent with how she talked to people.

"What the hell did you just do?" I asked.

Patty smiled sweetly. "I kissed the stoplight for you."

"Yeah, okay, I saw that. Can I ask why?"

"To thank it for not turning red. If you thank them, it keeps them from turning red on you the next time you go through them."

"Really? And this works?"

"It's always worked for me," she said with a shrug.

I thought it was one of the silliest things I'd ever heard. Still, the next time I raced under a yellow light, I gave it a kiss so Patty wouldn't have to. Then I started kissing them whether Patty was in the car with me or not. I still do it to this day. She was right -
it does seem to work. In fact, the first light I kissed this morning sent a message out to all the lights up ahead about how sweet I am to traffic lights, and they were all kind to me, as well. I might argue with the logic of how it works, but not with the fact that it does. What can I say? The universe is mysterious place.

While I still get attitude from certain surly traffic lights that don't know me very well (and that probably aren't kind to anyone, anyway), most of the ones I deal with on a frequent basis are very accommodating toward me. Traffic lights get little affection from most people, and like anything else, they reward those who show them the love we all crave.



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Comments

[welfy.livejournal.com]

This is such a sweet story. I'll have to try this next time I'm out!

I don't kiss stoplights, but I do talk to them. Usually to say things like, "Nooooooo! WHY DID YOU TURN RED?!"

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Rest assured, when I'm not kissing them, I'm cursing at them.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of that. But how cool!!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Try it. It gets cold where you live, and even traffic lights need a little warmth once in awhile. ~_^

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

We don't have a lot of traffic lights in town anymore. They took 4 of them out when they remodeled downtown to give our town a quainter look or something. But when I DO hit one, I'll be sure to kiss it!!

[broken-alice.livejournal.com]

Interesting tradition/supersitition.

My pal KD and I yell "HAWWWWT PINK!" when we go under yellow lights that just flipped to red. I have no idea where that habit came from. I don't know if she does it when I'm not a passenger but I hope she does.

But as a pedestrian, which is 90% of my time, I usually yell "CROSSWALK, ASSHOLE!" at cars who run hot pinks/reds when I have already been given the clear "walk" signal and step out into harms way to almost be road meat.

[thefounder.livejournal.com]

i usually only have to shout at cyclists for going through red lights when it should be safe for me to cross.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Houston is a city largly without sidewalks (no kidding), and we have no pedestrians left. We ran them all over years ago.

[thefounder.livejournal.com]

sounds like a scary place that's best avoided...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

So people say.

It's not as bad or as ugly as the world thinks it is, though. Or maybe I just think that because I was born here. :)

[thefounder.livejournal.com]

for someone like me, who likes walking and likes towns and cities that are easy to walk around, it doesn't sound like my sort of place. after receiving your reply, i investigated Houston's bus services, and was surprised by how decent [by US standards] the level of service is, given the apparently public transport hostile environment in which they operate. there were some weird headways though, like every 18 minutes, every 27 minutes and every 50 minutes.

[bbart.livejournal.com]

I've developed a habit of shouting, "Me too! Me too!" when I drive through a yellow light. I started doing this after I saw a former coworker do it. She said her father always did that.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Kiss them when they listen to you - they like it, and it encourages them to listen in the future.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's sweet :D

[mugglemomjsw.livejournal.com]

Hmm... I was told when I was 15 by a friend that it adds 15 seconds to your sex life. haha Either way, we're golden, right?! I've been doing it since he told me that.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I guess, so long as it's not the 15 seconds where the guy goes, "Wait...wait...don't move..." and then finishes anyway because you shifted your hips just a little. Because that 15 seconds only frustraits me. ;^P