Thursday – Kissing Stoplights
Sep. 20th, 2007 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was thinking about how my old friend Patty still influences my behavior, even though it's been a couple years since I last saw her. This occurred to me as I was kissing stoplights this morning – three of them – which is something I would never have thought of doing if Patty had not come into my life.
Those of you unfamiliar with the practice might wonder why and how one would kiss a stoplight. You kiss them when you enter an intersection where the light has been yellow for a few seconds already. If the light stays yellow until you are through or almost through the intersection, you kiss it to tell it thanks. If it turns red as you enter the intersection and puts you at risk for getting a traffic ticket, it does not get a kiss, because it was mean to you.
I had never heard of the practice until Patty began to ride to work with me. Once morning as I sped through a yellow light, Patty kissed her fingertips and then slapped them on the ceiling of my car as we drove beneath the light.
I was intrigued. Because this was Patty, I had to ask about it in a manner consistent with how she talked to people.
"What the hell did you just do?" I asked.
Patty smiled sweetly. "I kissed the stoplight for you."
"Yeah, okay, I saw that. Can I ask why?"
"To thank it for not turning red. If you thank them, it keeps them from turning red on you the next time you go through them."
"Really? And this works?"
"It's always worked for me," she said with a shrug.
I thought it was one of the silliest things I'd ever heard. Still, the next time I raced under a yellow light, I gave it a kiss so Patty wouldn't have to. Then I started kissing them whether Patty was in the car with me or not. I still do it to this day. She was right -
it does seem to work. In fact, the first light I kissed this morning sent a message out to all the lights up ahead about how sweet I am to traffic lights, and they were all kind to me, as well. I might argue with the logic of how it works, but not with the fact that it does. What can I say? The universe is mysterious place.
While I still get attitude from certain surly traffic lights that don't know me very well (and that probably aren't kind to anyone, anyway), most of the ones I deal with on a frequent basis are very accommodating toward me. Traffic lights get little affection from most people, and like anything else, they reward those who show them the love we all crave.
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Those of you unfamiliar with the practice might wonder why and how one would kiss a stoplight. You kiss them when you enter an intersection where the light has been yellow for a few seconds already. If the light stays yellow until you are through or almost through the intersection, you kiss it to tell it thanks. If it turns red as you enter the intersection and puts you at risk for getting a traffic ticket, it does not get a kiss, because it was mean to you.
I had never heard of the practice until Patty began to ride to work with me. Once morning as I sped through a yellow light, Patty kissed her fingertips and then slapped them on the ceiling of my car as we drove beneath the light.
I was intrigued. Because this was Patty, I had to ask about it in a manner consistent with how she talked to people.
"What the hell did you just do?" I asked.
Patty smiled sweetly. "I kissed the stoplight for you."
"Yeah, okay, I saw that. Can I ask why?"
"To thank it for not turning red. If you thank them, it keeps them from turning red on you the next time you go through them."
"Really? And this works?"
"It's always worked for me," she said with a shrug.
I thought it was one of the silliest things I'd ever heard. Still, the next time I raced under a yellow light, I gave it a kiss so Patty wouldn't have to. Then I started kissing them whether Patty was in the car with me or not. I still do it to this day. She was right -
it does seem to work. In fact, the first light I kissed this morning sent a message out to all the lights up ahead about how sweet I am to traffic lights, and they were all kind to me, as well. I might argue with the logic of how it works, but not with the fact that it does. What can I say? The universe is mysterious place.
While I still get attitude from certain surly traffic lights that don't know me very well (and that probably aren't kind to anyone, anyway), most of the ones I deal with on a frequent basis are very accommodating toward me. Traffic lights get little affection from most people, and like anything else, they reward those who show them the love we all crave.
