Thursday - A DVD From Jesus
Jun. 22nd, 2006 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was thinking about my last conversation with my cousin Leslie, who's son is brain damaged from an aneurism that burst in his head 13 years ago. His condition is deteriorating, and she called me this weekend to let me know that her gut instinct tells her that this is the beginning of the end.
Conversations with Leslie are intense and fast paced. She does most of the speaking, and you intone with the occasional "uh-huh" and "that's right" to let her know you are paying attention. Her mind races from topic to topic, and she talks much faster than anyone with a southern accent has a right to. By the end of her calls I am out of breath from trying to keep up. I can't imagine walking a mile in her shoes; they are just too painful. The idea of standing in her shoes for even a moment and not walking anywhere is enough to make my feet bleed.
She was telling me about her son before the aneurism and about what she thought he might have been like as a man, had it never happened.
"Before this...I don't want to call it a tragedy...he was talking about being a lawyer," she said. She doesn't like the word tragedy. She believes that everything happens for a reason and that to call her son's condition, or anything, a tragedy, is to fail to see the opportunity and the miracle of every situation. Whatever she wants to call it, I know a tragedy when I see one, and Cameron's story fits the bill.
"Not a corporate lawyer or anything like that," she continued, "A public defender, Nina. He would have helped people. Because this is my kid. He would have done great things." Leslie calls herself a "Flower Geezer," her term to describe an aging Flower Child. Actually, she is only 49 and missed the real era of Flower Power by only a couple of years. She was into peace and flowers while the rest of the world was turning into the 1970's Me Generation. She didn't make it to Woodstock not because she didn't want to go, but because she was only in Jr. High School and didn't have a driver's license yet to get her there.
"Did I tell you that just before this happened, he was in the regional debate tournament and he came in second place? His first one, and he came in second, Nina. And do you know what his topic was? Democracy in Action. Can you believe that? He could have done so much."
I agreed.
"Nina, when I die and I get up to Heaven, there's one thing I want Jesus to do for me," she said. "I mean, I've got a lot of questions for him, don't get me wrong. I've got a whole list, but there's one thing I really want.
"When I get up there, I want him to hand me a DVD," she said, "Wow, I almost said VHS. That's dating me, isn't it? No, I want him to hand me a DVD and I want him to watch it with me. I want it to have what Cam would have been like on it. I want to see him maybe arguing a case in front of a judge, and I want to see what his kids, my grandkids, would have been like." She choked a little.
"Because I know they would have been awesome, Nina, but I just want to see them. I want Jesus to do this for me, and I don't think that's asking too much of him, do you?"
I told her that I didn't.
I've been thinking about her request since then, though, and it has occurred to me that Jesus, despite him being Jesus and all, might not be the best person to sit down and watch that DVD with her. I think it would be nice if it is Cameron himself who hands her that disk when she gets up to the pearly gates. I think he should greet her as the tall and handsome 29 years old that he should have been today, with angular cheekbones and flashing intelligent eyes so like her own. I think he should be dressed in a really nice suit, the kind of suit nice enough to wear when you argue in front of the Supreme Court.
"Here, Mom," I want him to say, "Let's watch this together."
Conversations with Leslie are intense and fast paced. She does most of the speaking, and you intone with the occasional "uh-huh" and "that's right" to let her know you are paying attention. Her mind races from topic to topic, and she talks much faster than anyone with a southern accent has a right to. By the end of her calls I am out of breath from trying to keep up. I can't imagine walking a mile in her shoes; they are just too painful. The idea of standing in her shoes for even a moment and not walking anywhere is enough to make my feet bleed.
She was telling me about her son before the aneurism and about what she thought he might have been like as a man, had it never happened.
"Before this...I don't want to call it a tragedy...he was talking about being a lawyer," she said. She doesn't like the word tragedy. She believes that everything happens for a reason and that to call her son's condition, or anything, a tragedy, is to fail to see the opportunity and the miracle of every situation. Whatever she wants to call it, I know a tragedy when I see one, and Cameron's story fits the bill.
"Not a corporate lawyer or anything like that," she continued, "A public defender, Nina. He would have helped people. Because this is my kid. He would have done great things." Leslie calls herself a "Flower Geezer," her term to describe an aging Flower Child. Actually, she is only 49 and missed the real era of Flower Power by only a couple of years. She was into peace and flowers while the rest of the world was turning into the 1970's Me Generation. She didn't make it to Woodstock not because she didn't want to go, but because she was only in Jr. High School and didn't have a driver's license yet to get her there.
"Did I tell you that just before this happened, he was in the regional debate tournament and he came in second place? His first one, and he came in second, Nina. And do you know what his topic was? Democracy in Action. Can you believe that? He could have done so much."
I agreed.
"Nina, when I die and I get up to Heaven, there's one thing I want Jesus to do for me," she said. "I mean, I've got a lot of questions for him, don't get me wrong. I've got a whole list, but there's one thing I really want.
"When I get up there, I want him to hand me a DVD," she said, "Wow, I almost said VHS. That's dating me, isn't it? No, I want him to hand me a DVD and I want him to watch it with me. I want it to have what Cam would have been like on it. I want to see him maybe arguing a case in front of a judge, and I want to see what his kids, my grandkids, would have been like." She choked a little.
"Because I know they would have been awesome, Nina, but I just want to see them. I want Jesus to do this for me, and I don't think that's asking too much of him, do you?"
I told her that I didn't.
I've been thinking about her request since then, though, and it has occurred to me that Jesus, despite him being Jesus and all, might not be the best person to sit down and watch that DVD with her. I think it would be nice if it is Cameron himself who hands her that disk when she gets up to the pearly gates. I think he should greet her as the tall and handsome 29 years old that he should have been today, with angular cheekbones and flashing intelligent eyes so like her own. I think he should be dressed in a really nice suit, the kind of suit nice enough to wear when you argue in front of the Supreme Court.
"Here, Mom," I want him to say, "Let's watch this together."
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Date: 2006-06-22 07:14 pm (UTC)Wow...
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