Wednesday - The Cannibal
Mar. 1st, 2006 03:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was wondering where I could purchase a mask like the one worn by Anthony Hopkins in "The Silence of The Lambs" in a size small enough to fit on a 1 year old.
There is a pretty little girl named Emma in my son's class at daycare. She looks like something out of an Anne Geddes photo, with gold ringlets and and big blue eyes and rosy cheeks. She coos and charms and does all of the things that an adorable one-year-old child ought to. The only problem that I have with her is that she is a vicious cannibal with an insatiable appetite for human flesh.
My son currently has four healing bite marks on him, or at least he only had four of them when I dropped him off this morning. I have been signing a lot of "incident reports" when I pick him up lately, always involving a bite received while "fighting over a toy." I don't get hysterical, I realize that some children go through a stage like this, and you just can't always move fast enough to stop them. But when it happens several times a week, and sometimes twice a day, one begins to wonder if certain children ought not to wear muzzles when they are taken out in public.
The workers at the daycare have worked very hard to keep the identity of the cannibal a secret, but last night there was a slip up in the protocol. Connie, the girl who takes care of the 1 year olds in the afternoon, was flustered when I showed up. My son had just been bit and she had not had time to write up a report or do any first aid. My son was sitting on the floor with little Emma, casually ripping the pages out of a story book. It was pretty easy to figure out who the culprit was. Either Connie bit him, or Emma did. The bite was tiny, so I quickly ruled Connie out as the culprit. Within a minute, Emma's mother walked in and picked up her daughter. Connie was trying to put ice on the swollen bite mark on my son's arm. Emma's mother sighed and confirmed my suspicions when she said, "Oh, Emma, did you bite him again?"
When I dropped my son off this morning, the blood-thirsty vixen was already there, dressed in pink cowgirl boots and lots of lace. Just looking at her, you would never know her true nature.
"Hello, man eater," I said to her as I sat my son a good 15 feet away from her. She looked up at me and smiled.
Katy, the woman who works the morning shift, burst out laughing. She assured me that it's not just my son that Emma has a taste for. Emma bites everyone. At least one of the other parents has demanded that she be moved to another room, where she could bite new children but at least her current classmates would be safe from her.
As for my son, he seems okay with it. He still sits next to her, though I would rather he didn't. He is a bit young to have to learn the lesson that there are just some people you meet in life who can't be trusted. He is already learning that there are beautiful women in this world who don't care how bad they hurt you, so long as they get what they want.
I am learning that apparently, these women are just born that way.
There is a pretty little girl named Emma in my son's class at daycare. She looks like something out of an Anne Geddes photo, with gold ringlets and and big blue eyes and rosy cheeks. She coos and charms and does all of the things that an adorable one-year-old child ought to. The only problem that I have with her is that she is a vicious cannibal with an insatiable appetite for human flesh.
My son currently has four healing bite marks on him, or at least he only had four of them when I dropped him off this morning. I have been signing a lot of "incident reports" when I pick him up lately, always involving a bite received while "fighting over a toy." I don't get hysterical, I realize that some children go through a stage like this, and you just can't always move fast enough to stop them. But when it happens several times a week, and sometimes twice a day, one begins to wonder if certain children ought not to wear muzzles when they are taken out in public.
The workers at the daycare have worked very hard to keep the identity of the cannibal a secret, but last night there was a slip up in the protocol. Connie, the girl who takes care of the 1 year olds in the afternoon, was flustered when I showed up. My son had just been bit and she had not had time to write up a report or do any first aid. My son was sitting on the floor with little Emma, casually ripping the pages out of a story book. It was pretty easy to figure out who the culprit was. Either Connie bit him, or Emma did. The bite was tiny, so I quickly ruled Connie out as the culprit. Within a minute, Emma's mother walked in and picked up her daughter. Connie was trying to put ice on the swollen bite mark on my son's arm. Emma's mother sighed and confirmed my suspicions when she said, "Oh, Emma, did you bite him again?"
When I dropped my son off this morning, the blood-thirsty vixen was already there, dressed in pink cowgirl boots and lots of lace. Just looking at her, you would never know her true nature.
"Hello, man eater," I said to her as I sat my son a good 15 feet away from her. She looked up at me and smiled.
Katy, the woman who works the morning shift, burst out laughing. She assured me that it's not just my son that Emma has a taste for. Emma bites everyone. At least one of the other parents has demanded that she be moved to another room, where she could bite new children but at least her current classmates would be safe from her.
As for my son, he seems okay with it. He still sits next to her, though I would rather he didn't. He is a bit young to have to learn the lesson that there are just some people you meet in life who can't be trusted. He is already learning that there are beautiful women in this world who don't care how bad they hurt you, so long as they get what they want.
I am learning that apparently, these women are just born that way.
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no subject
Date: 2006-03-02 03:51 pm (UTC)Ancient Family Secret!!!
Date: 2006-03-02 04:18 pm (UTC)Duct Tape: otherwise known as Hunnert mile-n-hour tape! Don't tell!!!!
Re: Ancient Family Secret!!!
Date: 2006-03-02 04:36 pm (UTC)