Monday - The Wave
Jan. 16th, 2006 11:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on the drive into work, I once again felt small and insignificant in my Elantra since I turned the huge, monstrous Dakota back in this morning and picked my car up from the body shop.
This isn't a bad thing. Small and insignificant kind of feels like home to me.
Sitting at the stoplight where the door between the dimensions opens a bit, I looked over at the Carney and I noticed that he is growing his mustache back. It's at that scratchy, awkward stage where it looks like he may simply have skipped shaving for a couple of days, except that his jawline was smooth. He was staring off into space with his cigarette in the corner of his mouth, either lost in thought or a daydream. After a few seconds he noticed me and gave a half wave.
I lifted my fingers off of the steering wheel to wave back. In the beginning, almost a year ago, I wouldn't have. I've gotten used to him and even feel some sympathy toward him now. Not that I haven't been angry in the past; no doubt I'll be angry at him again before too long.
But for today, he and I are cool, if not on speaking terms. I don't think we will ever be on speaking terms. He represents a necessary unpleasantness. I think his whole purpose for showing himself to me is to let me know he is not evil, just necessary. No one would read a story if it didn't have an ending; he is what everyone works toward, whether we want to or not. It is up to us to make sure that the story, after it ends, was worth reading at all.
This isn't a bad thing. Small and insignificant kind of feels like home to me.
Sitting at the stoplight where the door between the dimensions opens a bit, I looked over at the Carney and I noticed that he is growing his mustache back. It's at that scratchy, awkward stage where it looks like he may simply have skipped shaving for a couple of days, except that his jawline was smooth. He was staring off into space with his cigarette in the corner of his mouth, either lost in thought or a daydream. After a few seconds he noticed me and gave a half wave.
I lifted my fingers off of the steering wheel to wave back. In the beginning, almost a year ago, I wouldn't have. I've gotten used to him and even feel some sympathy toward him now. Not that I haven't been angry in the past; no doubt I'll be angry at him again before too long.
But for today, he and I are cool, if not on speaking terms. I don't think we will ever be on speaking terms. He represents a necessary unpleasantness. I think his whole purpose for showing himself to me is to let me know he is not evil, just necessary. No one would read a story if it didn't have an ending; he is what everyone works toward, whether we want to or not. It is up to us to make sure that the story, after it ends, was worth reading at all.
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Date: 2006-01-16 11:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-16 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 07:46 pm (UTC)Very true.
Great post!