Thursday – Boy in a Bubble
Oct. 14th, 2010 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
.
.
Looking at yesterday's conduct report for Sweet Pea (I call it the "Smiley Report" since it rates him using smiling or frowning faces), I was pleased to see he got 5 smiley's in a row in the morning, only to get a frowny at lunch. He got 10 smiles, 4 frowns, and 2 Oh No's (meaning his behavior was borderline bad, but not over the top). Music class was another problem area; after refusing to sit still, he got angry when told to do so and threw his shoes (which earned him a visit to the office). At recess, he pinched another child who refused to vacate a swing on the playground.
We are pleased on any day that has only a single trip to the office.
Sweet Pea seems to have trouble with anything that requires that he sit still, stand in line, wait for his turn, or do something he does not want to. Unfortunately for him, those three activities make up a lot of the school day. I was relieved to hear his teacher say that the other children have learned to tune him out when he is running around the room during circle time. I felt guilty that he was getting in the way of their learning, but they apparently are managing to learn around him. He has a one-on-one attendant to help him focus and get through his lessons and activities, but even she can't make him sit still when his body is telling him to move.
I remembered being in elementary school and how much of it involved standing in line to go from one place to the other. Lines are problem for Sweet Pea because other people stand very close to you when you are in line. Jeff has observed him at school and said you can always spot where Sweet Pea is in the line because there is a space ahead of him and a space behind him.
"He starts leaning forward and then back to make the other kids move away from him," Jeff said with a grin, imitating the movement. The grin was not because we find what our son does amusing; we love him, and talking about him tends to make us smile even as it makes us shake our heads. The swaying works for Sweet Pea, making the child ahead of him move a bit forward while the child behind him takes a step back to get out of his way. After his bubble is defined and he is alone in it, he stops moving: bubble established and mission accomplished.
It is hard to be good, Sweet Pea says. Someone always does something to make him angry. He is too small of a vessel to hold all the anger that builds up so suddenly inside of him, and his top blows and shoes get thrown, people get kicked, and so on. We tell him to keep trying to be good, and he looks at the floor and frowns because he is a perfectionist and having this imperfection pointed out is difficult for him.
"Let's talk about something else," he says.
The question about what we are going to do with him has been resolved to his satisfaction, though. After the time I said that I didn't know what I was going to do with him and he told me that nobody else knew, either, Jeff answered the question and we have reminded him several times.
"I know what you're going to do with me," he told his father the other night as Jeff was cajoling him to put on his pajamas after his bath (at 6, he still enjoys the freedom of running around in his freshly scrubbed birthday suit for a bit after he is dried off).
"What are we going to do with you?" Jeff asked.
"You're going to love me and keep me and never give up on me!" he said, his face beaming.
"That's right!" Jeff exclaimed, and picked him up for a hug.
"And I'm going to keep you and not give up on you, either!" Sweet Pea exclaimed.
He gets pretty frustrated with all the requests to take baths and us wanting to always discuss his conduct reports all the time, so I am relieved to hear this.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
.
.
Looking at yesterday's conduct report for Sweet Pea (I call it the "Smiley Report" since it rates him using smiling or frowning faces), I was pleased to see he got 5 smiley's in a row in the morning, only to get a frowny at lunch. He got 10 smiles, 4 frowns, and 2 Oh No's (meaning his behavior was borderline bad, but not over the top). Music class was another problem area; after refusing to sit still, he got angry when told to do so and threw his shoes (which earned him a visit to the office). At recess, he pinched another child who refused to vacate a swing on the playground.
We are pleased on any day that has only a single trip to the office.
Sweet Pea seems to have trouble with anything that requires that he sit still, stand in line, wait for his turn, or do something he does not want to. Unfortunately for him, those three activities make up a lot of the school day. I was relieved to hear his teacher say that the other children have learned to tune him out when he is running around the room during circle time. I felt guilty that he was getting in the way of their learning, but they apparently are managing to learn around him. He has a one-on-one attendant to help him focus and get through his lessons and activities, but even she can't make him sit still when his body is telling him to move.
I remembered being in elementary school and how much of it involved standing in line to go from one place to the other. Lines are problem for Sweet Pea because other people stand very close to you when you are in line. Jeff has observed him at school and said you can always spot where Sweet Pea is in the line because there is a space ahead of him and a space behind him.
"He starts leaning forward and then back to make the other kids move away from him," Jeff said with a grin, imitating the movement. The grin was not because we find what our son does amusing; we love him, and talking about him tends to make us smile even as it makes us shake our heads. The swaying works for Sweet Pea, making the child ahead of him move a bit forward while the child behind him takes a step back to get out of his way. After his bubble is defined and he is alone in it, he stops moving: bubble established and mission accomplished.
It is hard to be good, Sweet Pea says. Someone always does something to make him angry. He is too small of a vessel to hold all the anger that builds up so suddenly inside of him, and his top blows and shoes get thrown, people get kicked, and so on. We tell him to keep trying to be good, and he looks at the floor and frowns because he is a perfectionist and having this imperfection pointed out is difficult for him.
"Let's talk about something else," he says.
The question about what we are going to do with him has been resolved to his satisfaction, though. After the time I said that I didn't know what I was going to do with him and he told me that nobody else knew, either, Jeff answered the question and we have reminded him several times.
"I know what you're going to do with me," he told his father the other night as Jeff was cajoling him to put on his pajamas after his bath (at 6, he still enjoys the freedom of running around in his freshly scrubbed birthday suit for a bit after he is dried off).
"What are we going to do with you?" Jeff asked.
"You're going to love me and keep me and never give up on me!" he said, his face beaming.
"That's right!" Jeff exclaimed, and picked him up for a hug.
"And I'm going to keep you and not give up on you, either!" Sweet Pea exclaimed.
He gets pretty frustrated with all the requests to take baths and us wanting to always discuss his conduct reports all the time, so I am relieved to hear this.
