Wednesday - Inside and Out

Today at The Stop Light, I pulled up in the middle lane to rest in between two beautiful young women driving nicer cars than mine.

Why does being around pretty people make me feel ugly, but being around ugly people not make me feel any prettier?

I'm not self conscious about the car. The car is so unremarkable as to be invisible. But even at my most attractive point, all I had was a sort of endearing cuteness going for me. My limbs have never been long and smooth and perfect, my stomach never flat. My eyes have never knocked anyone off their feet, my face has never attracted attention. My gifts have always been a sharp mind and a sharper wit, but I would have traded them both to be photogenic. When you are beautiful, you don't have to be smart, whereas when you are not beautiful, being smart is the only way to stand out, to matter.

The light changed, and I drove off to get away from the two reminders of my shortcomings, feeling further depressed by this realization:

Not only am I plain, I'm incredibly shallow.