Wednesday – Night of The Debutante
Jul. 28th, 2010 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
.
.
My cousin, Aly, is the result of a socioeconomically mixed marriage. Her father was my mother’s baby brother, and my grandfather was a laborer for the city of Bryan Texas. My uncle was able to put himself through Texas A&M back when it was an affordable college that allowed the sons of working class farmers and the like to get a college degree and raise themselves up in society. Her mother is a member of the P--- family, an influential South Texas family that is as close to nobility as we get here in Texas. Her parents met when my aunt's father hired my uncle. The boss’ lovely daughter, Miss P--- was a striking beauty who stood at almost 6 feet tall. When she met my uncle, who had movie-star good looks and stood at 6’4”, he caught her eye. I suspect that the first thing that attracted my aunt to my uncle was the idea of being able to go out with a man that she could stand next to while wearing high heels and not making him look like a munchkin next to her. The tall, good looking pair fell in love and decided to marry, despite the objections of the bride’s family.
Aly is the result of this union. If I had to think of words to describe my cousin, the first ones that come to mind are: sweet, spastic, and ADHD. We are close in age and have a lifelong affection for each other, though we are very different people. I have a habit of living in my own head too much, while Aly likes to delve into other people's heads and knock all their expectations and assumptions over like so many empty boxes stacked to the ceilings of their subconscious. The boxes in people's heads, of course, are not ever empty; they are loaded heavy with brick and bric-à-brac, but she knocks them over as if they held nothing at all. She has a peculiar knack for amazing and exasperating both her white-collar and her blue-collar relatives. The only thing I can say that my mother's family and Aly's mother's families have in common is the fact that they both tend to shake their heads and say, "Oh, Lord, that Aly!" whenever her name comes up in conversation.
I went to college at Texas A&M in the late 80s and early 90s, and Aly was living in College Station at the time I was there. By that time it was no longer the blue-collar school that our fathers went to. A lot of those farm boys took their engineering degrees and made good with them. Their loyalty to the institution that helped them rise in society was and is intense in a way that cannot be explained to non Aggies. By the time my father told me I could go to college wherever I wanted but that the only place he would send his money was Texas A&M, the place was very respectable (as were the tuition rates). Aly had another cousin from her mother's side who was attending Texas A&M at this time, who I will call Emilia.
One night Aly invited a group of friends to go see one of her favorite live bands, Trout Fishing In America , a sort of comedy/rock/folk duo who billed themselves as "Acid Vaudeville." The group that night included Emilia, me, and some of the weird guys Aly hung out with. Aly most endearing strength and most irritating attribute is that she likes people – all kinds of people – no matter who they are. The weird guys who hung out with Aly were not creepy weird or scary weird; she gravitated towards the dorky, geeky, nerdy side of weird. Because she was a pretty girl willing to hang out with them and dorks, geeks and nerds are not used to having pretty girls hang out with them, they sort of crowned her their queen and did whatever she bade them to. She liked being queen and didn't care if her subjects were the sorts of boys who went to their high school proms without dates because no girl they asked would accept their invitation or because they had not finished building their female android in by the date of the prom. Emilia - the South Texas debutante and Sorority girl, and I - an artsy middle class oddball - had little in common beyond the fact that neither of us would have hung out with these boys given our druthers. Still, we were out for a night with Aly and geeks and nerd escorts were just part of the package.
I could tell that poor Emilia was kind of uncomfortable, but I noticed that she had put on her game face and seemed willing to endure the evening for the sake of our shared cousin. Someone in the car that night was drinking, and I had caught a contact drunk off of them, so I was feeling a bit tipsy despite my own blood alcohol level of zero point zero. Feeling drunk just by virtue of standing with and talking to drunk people is one of my little quirks. The reason I almost never drink is because I don’t have to. Under the influence of my contact drunk buzz that night, I was hanging out of the sunroof and at one point had my legs kicking out of the sunroof of the car (whose car was it? I can’t remember). Emilia seemed kind of appalled at me. To be fair, I was acting kind of appalling. Drunks are appalling, even in my case when the effects of the alcohol were not entirely real in a way that can be explained by science or medicine.
At one point, one of the boys asked, "So, you all three are cousins?"
Emilia shook her head vigorously. She had to claim Aly, but no way in hell was she claiming the ditzy blonde with her legs hanging out the sunroof.
I decided to clarify the situation and said with a smile. "No, Emilia is a P---. I’m from the white trash side of Aly’s family."
Emilia’s jaw dropped open and she quickly looked away from me. She did not speak a word to me the rest of the evening. I was not sure if she thought I was calling her family arrogant and was thus offended (despite how it sounded, I wasn’t) or if she wasn’t going to speak to me because I was self-professed white trash. Anyone who knew me well would have known I meant it in jest. My sense of humor is biting and my tongue is sharp, but if you look at my face you will pick up that I consider the world in general to be an absurd place and there are few things that don’t deserve to be mocked at least a little bit. The socio-economic division between my mother's relatives and my aunt's relatives was kind of silly to me. Like my cousin Aly, I guess, I just take people to be people and their differences to be window dressing. Our difference is that Aly tries to like something in everyone and I don’t bother liking a person unless I have to (though I do attempt to not let myself get below nuetral). Emilia did not know me well (or at all, really) so she was not amused by my joke. Aly, God love her, threw back her head and laughed. She understood it, even if Emilia didn't.
When Emilia was dropped off at her home she didn’t even look at me when I said goodbye and said it was nice to meet her. It would be almost 20 years before I would cross paths with her at the funeral of Aly’s father. By that time, she had gotten over her offence and was very congenial toward me. Aly introduced us and I said we had met once in college. Emilia smiled and said she remembered me. That was that.
Of course, she also had met for the first time my side of Aly’s family that day. I like to think that she was able to forgive my little joke because, after seeing my family up close, she finally got it.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
.
.
My cousin, Aly, is the result of a socioeconomically mixed marriage. Her father was my mother’s baby brother, and my grandfather was a laborer for the city of Bryan Texas. My uncle was able to put himself through Texas A&M back when it was an affordable college that allowed the sons of working class farmers and the like to get a college degree and raise themselves up in society. Her mother is a member of the P--- family, an influential South Texas family that is as close to nobility as we get here in Texas. Her parents met when my aunt's father hired my uncle. The boss’ lovely daughter, Miss P--- was a striking beauty who stood at almost 6 feet tall. When she met my uncle, who had movie-star good looks and stood at 6’4”, he caught her eye. I suspect that the first thing that attracted my aunt to my uncle was the idea of being able to go out with a man that she could stand next to while wearing high heels and not making him look like a munchkin next to her. The tall, good looking pair fell in love and decided to marry, despite the objections of the bride’s family.
Aly is the result of this union. If I had to think of words to describe my cousin, the first ones that come to mind are: sweet, spastic, and ADHD. We are close in age and have a lifelong affection for each other, though we are very different people. I have a habit of living in my own head too much, while Aly likes to delve into other people's heads and knock all their expectations and assumptions over like so many empty boxes stacked to the ceilings of their subconscious. The boxes in people's heads, of course, are not ever empty; they are loaded heavy with brick and bric-à-brac, but she knocks them over as if they held nothing at all. She has a peculiar knack for amazing and exasperating both her white-collar and her blue-collar relatives. The only thing I can say that my mother's family and Aly's mother's families have in common is the fact that they both tend to shake their heads and say, "Oh, Lord, that Aly!" whenever her name comes up in conversation.
I went to college at Texas A&M in the late 80s and early 90s, and Aly was living in College Station at the time I was there. By that time it was no longer the blue-collar school that our fathers went to. A lot of those farm boys took their engineering degrees and made good with them. Their loyalty to the institution that helped them rise in society was and is intense in a way that cannot be explained to non Aggies. By the time my father told me I could go to college wherever I wanted but that the only place he would send his money was Texas A&M, the place was very respectable (as were the tuition rates). Aly had another cousin from her mother's side who was attending Texas A&M at this time, who I will call Emilia.
One night Aly invited a group of friends to go see one of her favorite live bands, Trout Fishing In America , a sort of comedy/rock/folk duo who billed themselves as "Acid Vaudeville." The group that night included Emilia, me, and some of the weird guys Aly hung out with. Aly most endearing strength and most irritating attribute is that she likes people – all kinds of people – no matter who they are. The weird guys who hung out with Aly were not creepy weird or scary weird; she gravitated towards the dorky, geeky, nerdy side of weird. Because she was a pretty girl willing to hang out with them and dorks, geeks and nerds are not used to having pretty girls hang out with them, they sort of crowned her their queen and did whatever she bade them to. She liked being queen and didn't care if her subjects were the sorts of boys who went to their high school proms without dates because no girl they asked would accept their invitation or because they had not finished building their female android in by the date of the prom. Emilia - the South Texas debutante and Sorority girl, and I - an artsy middle class oddball - had little in common beyond the fact that neither of us would have hung out with these boys given our druthers. Still, we were out for a night with Aly and geeks and nerd escorts were just part of the package.
I could tell that poor Emilia was kind of uncomfortable, but I noticed that she had put on her game face and seemed willing to endure the evening for the sake of our shared cousin. Someone in the car that night was drinking, and I had caught a contact drunk off of them, so I was feeling a bit tipsy despite my own blood alcohol level of zero point zero. Feeling drunk just by virtue of standing with and talking to drunk people is one of my little quirks. The reason I almost never drink is because I don’t have to. Under the influence of my contact drunk buzz that night, I was hanging out of the sunroof and at one point had my legs kicking out of the sunroof of the car (whose car was it? I can’t remember). Emilia seemed kind of appalled at me. To be fair, I was acting kind of appalling. Drunks are appalling, even in my case when the effects of the alcohol were not entirely real in a way that can be explained by science or medicine.
At one point, one of the boys asked, "So, you all three are cousins?"
Emilia shook her head vigorously. She had to claim Aly, but no way in hell was she claiming the ditzy blonde with her legs hanging out the sunroof.
I decided to clarify the situation and said with a smile. "No, Emilia is a P---. I’m from the white trash side of Aly’s family."
Emilia’s jaw dropped open and she quickly looked away from me. She did not speak a word to me the rest of the evening. I was not sure if she thought I was calling her family arrogant and was thus offended (despite how it sounded, I wasn’t) or if she wasn’t going to speak to me because I was self-professed white trash. Anyone who knew me well would have known I meant it in jest. My sense of humor is biting and my tongue is sharp, but if you look at my face you will pick up that I consider the world in general to be an absurd place and there are few things that don’t deserve to be mocked at least a little bit. The socio-economic division between my mother's relatives and my aunt's relatives was kind of silly to me. Like my cousin Aly, I guess, I just take people to be people and their differences to be window dressing. Our difference is that Aly tries to like something in everyone and I don’t bother liking a person unless I have to (though I do attempt to not let myself get below nuetral). Emilia did not know me well (or at all, really) so she was not amused by my joke. Aly, God love her, threw back her head and laughed. She understood it, even if Emilia didn't.
When Emilia was dropped off at her home she didn’t even look at me when I said goodbye and said it was nice to meet her. It would be almost 20 years before I would cross paths with her at the funeral of Aly’s father. By that time, she had gotten over her offence and was very congenial toward me. Aly introduced us and I said we had met once in college. Emilia smiled and said she remembered me. That was that.
Of course, she also had met for the first time my side of Aly’s family that day. I like to think that she was able to forgive my little joke because, after seeing my family up close, she finally got it.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-28 07:44 pm (UTC)Hells, yeah! Of course, our family didn't START out as white trash, but some of the tendrils have sauntered ever downward in that direction.
Frankly, I think "Emilia" was in denial of what most of Mom's family secretly suspected. To hear it loudly, and proudly, proclaimed was a shock, indeed.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-28 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-29 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-29 01:48 pm (UTC)For the record, you're one my favorite weird guys she brought around. ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 01:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-30 04:48 pm (UTC)No to mention cuter than most of them. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-29 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-29 09:50 pm (UTC)I mean, we're cute and sweet and a lot of fun, but we are lunatics. People are gonna start talking about you. I'm only saying this as a friend: I think you can do better. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-29 09:52 pm (UTC)