Tuesday – Roommates: There Are Worse Things than Being Lonely

[ninanevermore]

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I went through a lot of roommates back in college. Once, when I began yet another story with the words, "This roommate of mine in college," stopped me and asked just how many roommates I had, because every time I told a story about a college roommate I seemed to be talking about a different person. I stopped and took an inventory, and came up with the number 10.

There are several reasons for this, and believe it or not they don't all center around the fact that I am a hard person to live with. Some of them were hard people to live, with, as well. There were a number of factors, including the fact that it took me 6 years to get my 4 year degree. I was generation X, and part of my generations legacy was a willingness to put off adulthood as long as we could, so I had no particular interest in graduating on time or even at all, if it really came down to it. The real world didn't have all that much appeal, and I liked being a student well enough (though not well enough to go to grad school.)

I had two roomies my freshman year. The first one, Christine, transferred from off campus to on-campus after one semester, so I moved in with (2) Dawn after that. The next year I moved on campus, where I lived with a sorority girl named (3) Echo (after Echo Mountain, because her mom liked to ski) for one semester. We didn't care for each other very much, and my next roommate was (4) Karen, who was okay but her boyfriend (who was always around) was a real jerk. The jerk got Karen pregnant so they got married and moved in together, and for my junior year I lived with (5) Jessica for both semesters. After that I moved back off campus into a 3 bedroom duplex with (6) Tiffany and (7) Marlena, and I lived with them for my first and second senior years. Then Tiffany graduated and Marlena moved in with a friend from high school, so they were replaced with (8) Cathy and (9) Jean. Jean graduated after one semester, and Melinda moved into her room. That last semester, for which I only had to take two classes and then would not be able to avoid graduating, seemed to last forever, since (9) Melinda was certifiably nuts.

How nuts was Melinda, you might ask. Let me start with saying that Cathy and I were desperate for a roommate. It was a few days before winter break, and we still had not found a replacement for the Jean. Melinda showed up and seemed nice enough, though I had a bad feeling about her. I would have discussed this bad feeling with Cathy except that after we showed Melinda her room, Cathy caught me off guard by asking, "So, what do you think about her?" right there in front of Melinda. I stammered, "She seems okay to me," even though it was a lie. There was just something off about the girl, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. I just got a dark vibe from her.

Since I said she seemed okay, we all shook hands and put her on the lease. The next day, I got a phone call from yet another prospective roommate. As I told her the room was no longer available, I had a sinking feeling I was talking to the person I should be asking to sign the lease.

Melinda moved in while Cathy and I were still back home for Christmas. I'll never forget my first sight of her bedroom. She wasn't there, but she'd left the door opened, so Cathy and I peered in to see what our new housemate was like. Our jaws dropped open when we took in the room. Melinda had a large collection of plush animals – teddy bears and bunnies and similar things – which is not all that unusual for a young woman just out of high school, I suppose. The way she displayed them was unusual, though. She had nailed them all over the walls to her room, driving a 4 inch steel nail right through each and every little plush tummy.

"Oh!" Cathy said, "She used nails…"

"Weird," I said slowly.

"Very," Cathy agreed.

"This is creepy. Let's get out of here," I said. We shut the door tight.

The first few weeks of life with Melinda were fine, but by the time I graduated, things between Melinda and me had deteriorated to the point that we didn't speak to each other. Cathy got along with her okay, though, and even moved in with her the next fall after I graduated. Melinda's parents had lost their home in a fire the year before, and had bought a trailer house to live in while the house was being rebuilt. When they no longer needed it, they moved it up close to the college so their daughter could live in it, and she rented one of the rooms to Cathy.

The last time I spoke to Cathy was when she called me following spring to tell me I had been right about Melinda. If I thought she was bad as a roommate, she was even worse as a landlord.

"She put a lock on the thermostat so no one could adjust it, and her parents had the keys in Houston so if the weather changed, we had to live with it until they could drive up the next weekend," Cathy fumed. On one hand, I understood why Melinda did this, since Cathy likes to keep the air conditioner set to near freezing, which makes for high utility bills. On the other hand, leaving the key with her parents who lived 100 miles away seemed a bit extreme.

She wouldn't let Cathy keep any decorations in any room of the house but her bedroom. Cathy was an anthropology major and liked things with southwestern and American Indian motifs, where as Melinda liked a lots of pink hearts and flowers. Whenever Cathy tried to decorate, she would come home to find Melinda had gathered up all her things and placed them in her room in the middle of of her bed while she was out.

Melinda had mentioned up front that she didn't mind paying the whole cable bill, but this turned out to mean she then got to say what TV shows could be watched at any given hour. Melinda was really fond of old Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals, for the most part. She didn't much like anything staring people who weren't already dead from old age.

She also dictated what food could be kept in the kitchen, what hours phone calls could be received, and whether Cathy's steady boyfriend could stay in her room with her. If Cathy had people over, Melinda would turn up the TV in the living room to drive them either to Cathy's room or outside.

"I just thought she had something against you, but she and I seemed to get along fine," Cathy admitted. "Then, after I moved in with her, I really understood what you didn't like about her."

"Well, she's a bitch and a lunatic," I said, "But other than those things I didn't have anything against her."

Cathy, probably one of the sweetest and most decent people I've ever met in my life, snorted. "After we loaded up my car and we were getting ready to leave, I wanted to slash her tires but Jeffery wouldn't let me," she admitted, "So I just let the air out of all four of them, instead."

"Good for you," I said. Funny how living with a mean, crazy person tends to make you a little mean, as well. Nastiness, like the common cold, is very contagious.

I guess I took 3 important life lessons away from living with Melinda: 1) I should never let anyone talk me out of trusting my gut instinct, 2) living alone is better than living with a lunatic, and 3) if I ever meet another person who likes to impale cute plush things with sweet faces to their bedroom walls, I should run as fast as I can in the other direction.

In hindsight, I guess those stressful 3 months of my life were worth the lifetime of wisdom I gained from them.


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Comments

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

It seems like every time I ever met a person who was later deemed "nuttier than fruitcake", I can point to something very early in the relationship that gave me a clue. The nails in the stuffed animals......that would have been a deal-rescinder for me.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

There was nothing I could do: she was already on the lease. You can't break a lease because someone has poor taste in room decor.

In hindsight, maybe I should have found another place to live since she was going to stay.

Live and learn (preferably, alone).

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

It seems like every time I ever met a person who was later deemed "nuttier than fruitcake", I can point to something very early in the relationship that gave me a clue

YES!!!

But, like many other things in life -- say, near-brushes with serial killers -- people tend to ignore these tell-tale signs. They think they're being "silly, "rude," etc etc. They need to pay attention to their guts waaaay more.

[drippedonpaper.livejournal.com]

Wow. But just think, if you had had normal roommates, you would have less stories:)

Let's you know how nuts some people are. Wow.

I love reading what you write.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I haven't even delved into the college roommates before this. I have 9 others I could write about, each with their own quirks and peculiarities. Most of them were sane, though. :)

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

Nails through poor little defenseless cute plushy tummies?!?!? OMG!! o.O

You've had some doozies. My roommies were fairly decent. I still like my first college roomie. ^_^

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

Now, had she dripped bright, red nail polish from the "wounds," THAT might have been amusing and almost-halfway cool.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

No, it wouldn't have been. If she had been goth, maybe. But she was all Suzy sunshine hearts and flowers, so this was kind of disconcerting. If a person has a dark and twisty adopted persona but a decent nature, that's one thing. If the person has a bright and sunny adopted persona but a twisted interior, that's a whole different ball of wax.

The room looked like the end result you would have gotten if you had asked Norman Bates to decorate a nursery. :P

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I like most of mine, though I I've track of almost all of them.

#1 I had issues with, but forgave them at my high school reunion.
#2 had to drop out because she ran out of funds, but where ever she is I wish her well.
#3 is a moron, and probably the despised pain-in-the-ass society wife of a wealthy man by now (she was there for her MRS degree, anyway).
#4 I don't hate, but I wouldn't mind if I never see her again, and I certainly don't want to see the jerk she married again.
#5 is ditsy, but sweet. She is also probably the wife of a wealthy man by now, but a much adored wife and mother.
#6 & #7 I both liked; one is probably in middle management by now, and one is probably on her 4th divorce like her mother before her.
#8 (Cathy) is probably still married to her then-boyfriend, and the mother of 3 or 4 kids.
#9 (Jean) is probably upper management, and on her 3rd marriage or so.
#10 (Melinda) is hopefully in a psche ward, getting the help she needs. Most likely she is a school teacher, #$%&ing up the minds of innocent children even as we speak. (She was an education major)

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

At least you liked most of them. My first roommie was my best friend in college, but Bryan fucked a lot of that up for me...meaning I was "in love" and skipped class and dropped out. :P Gina and I still exchange Christmas cards. She has 3 kids. ^^

I went back and had a sweet Japanese girl named Hiroko, but I was still with Bryan and wasn't around much and eventually dropped out of that university for good. I sucked at college life. :P

[renewedme.livejournal.com]

Wow and I thought my crazy roommates were bad!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I think it's a matter of odds: the more roomies you have, the more likely one will be a nut. It took me 10 roommates to happen upon Little Miss Psycho. I should have made a point to graduate sooner, I guess. If I'd gotten out one semester sooner, I could have spared myself a lot of grief.