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"He bit five kids today, and pinched miss Dorothy at the front desk on the boob," I told my husband yesterday evening. Last week was a good week, with almost no incidents at all. Apparently, he felt a need to make up for it all in one day.

"Five kids?!"

"Five. One little girl he bit because Rainy asked him to. I think she had a toy Rainy wanted."

"Wait a minute...he's contracting himself out now?"

"Only for girls he really likes."

"Great. Just great."

Since the beginning of time, women have been asking men to do things that will get them in trouble.

"Yeah, y'all kind of suck that way," my husband when I pointed this out to him.

In the beginning, Eve tempted Adam with an apple. Yesterday, Rainey sicced my son on a little girl named Raquel. Both guys gave into temptation and took a bite, and nothing good came of either event for the men or the women. Eve got banished right along with Adam, and Rainey's dad got called at work, as did I.

The moral of the story is that guys should think twice about breaking the law just because a pretty girl bats her eyes at you. The powers that be always find out, and there's a good chance you might get spanked and have all your Easter candy taken away.

Seriously.



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Date: 2009-04-14 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
The dumb stuff, I can accept. It's the order of the universe: guys do dumb stuff to impress women. I just don't want him doing stuff that can get him arrested. :P

Date: 2009-04-14 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woohag.livejournal.com
Well yeah, I GUESS I can see that. :) And it's different since Rainy "hired" him to do it, haha. Isn't it amazing how we learn the ways of the world in elementary school? Social dynamics don't change much as we grow up, do they?

Date: 2009-04-14 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
I'm not sure what she paid him with, except her friendship and the chance to impress her. She is the only child in his class that he will claim as a friend.

They make an odd little pair. He's the skinniest kid in the class, and she's the chubbiest (should must outweigh him by a good 15 lbs). I guess he likes a little meat on his women, because he thinks she hung the moon. He did it for love, though I'm not sure that justifies the act.

Date: 2009-04-14 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woohag.livejournal.com
Mutt and Jeff. :)

Awww..."hung the moon", I like that. I always say "he thinks the sun rises and sets up her ass", haha. Yours is obviously more eloquent. It's nice he did it for love!

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