Friday – The Mulligan

[ninanevermore]

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Yesterday was one of my husband's nights off from work, so I worked a little late and he picked our son up from daycare. I called from the office to check in on them.

"How was our son today?" I asked, and held my breath while I waited for the answer. We get a detailed report each day from the school so we can monitor whether he's been naughty or nice, allowing us to respond accordingly.

"Well," Jeff hesitated, "There was an incident this morning, but I kind of understand it."

"Okay. What happened?"

"He was playing with a ball and another little boy walked over to him, took it away from him, and threw it in the trashcan. So [Sweet Pea] hit him."

I tried to choke back my laughter, and failed.

"I gotta give him a mulligan on that one," Jeff said. "I mean, come on. The guy was being a jerk!"

"But," I was having a hard time talking because I was still laughing, "we have to tell him that it's wrong to hit people. I mean, it's just not acceptable."

"No," Jeff said through chuckles of his own, "But..."

"But you'd have hit him too?"

"If somebody did that to me? Yeah! Who wouldn't?"

"But it's wrong." I was still laughing. Every time I tried to put on my serious Mom voice, I laughed a little more. I could picture my son's face, his look of annoyance and consternation as he moved in to seek his vengeance. He no doubt saw this as a justifiable assault. That his father did, too, and his mom couldn't stop laughing about it is not going to help us encourage positive behavior and discourage violence.

"At least he didn't bite him," I said. "Progress!"

"Exactly," Jeff agreed. "He wants pizza tonight, and I'm going to let him have some. Other than that, he had a great day."

I feel like a hypocrite, but I suppose I can justify not being too hard on my son. I've often railed against the "Zero Tolerance" policies you often come across these days because they fail to take into consideration the circumstances and intents of the people they target. Even in law enforcement, certain generally-illegal actions are sometimes seen as justifiable, such as shooting someone who is trying to shoot you first. Here in Texas, the guy doesn't even have to point a gun at you. He just has to be on your property after sundown and appear to up to no good. My home state takes the stance that some folks just need to be shot, and while it's considered good to ere on the side of caution, the law doesn't require that you do so.

Likewise, I guess some folks may need to be hit.

This can be seen as a learning experience, if not for my son then for the other kid. You just can't steal what belongs to someone else and throw it away. Not only will you get hit, your assailant may well be rewarded with pizza for dinner.


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Comments

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

LoL...as I was reading this, all I could think about was this scene from a movie I saw a long time ago where one of the characters was scolding two subordinates and he delivered one of my favorite movie quotes of all time:

"the moral of the story is, and I love morals, when you're walking on eggs, don't hop"

[magsmom.livejournal.com]

I woulda hit him too.
And yes, it's wrong.
But c'mon.

[jenandbronze.livejournal.com]

seconded!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Okay, you guys win. He gets a pass this time. I can hardly punish him for something I'd probably do myself under the same circumstances. :)

[m-malcontent.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I would have probably gone WWF on someone who took my ball and threw it away in front of me.

And I was kind of a wimp as a child.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Some people are apparently born jerks, and their nature shows itself early.

My son's reaction to the fiend may not have been acceptable, but I can hardly call it inappropriate.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

Some folks need to be decked.
It falls under the "he needed killin'" defense.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

It does, it really does.

[woohag.livejournal.com]

My nephew used to get bullied by some real idiot jerk kid (who, just FYI, had parents to match). After almost a year of the kid like poking him in the arm repeatedly for no reason, my nephew lashed out and put his hands around the kid's neck. Not to choke him but just to stop him b/c he was all up in his face. I mean, at a certain point, they have it coming.

I give your son a pass on this one. :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

There is no way I could punish him when the whole thing makes me laugh. His dad gave him a mulligan, and I'll stand by that decision. :)

[aymen.livejournal.com]

I agree. I think defending himself is okay.
I would have whacked the kid too.
I use to get in trouble at school for stuff like that, as did my siblings.
At least now the kid knows not to mess with him!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I will never understand guys who go out of their way to pick a fight with a guy they know has a temper.

I swear that testosterone causes brain damage. :^P

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

I think this falls under the category of WWJWD (What Would John Wayne Do?). I think you know the answer to that. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... and your little man had to stand up for his property rights AND the protection of the environment! Throwing away a perfectly good ball contributes to Global Warming! And some day, when that miniature jerk decides to steal somebody's car and wreck it on a drunken joyride, you can rest assured it WON'T be E's. Sweet Pea just saved you a TON on auto insurance.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I'll have to thank him for that insurance thing. :)

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I understand too. I see this in MY daycare. A child will hit another because they did something not nice. While I still punish the hitter, I reprimand the hittee too. "Maybe you shouldn't have done that..." If their offense was bad enough, I'll put the hittee in timeout too. :P

I'm glad he didn't bite, at least. That IS progress. ^^ *HUGS*

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

One thing adults forget is that the big jerks we deal with every day started off as little jerks once upon a time...

*hugs Dawn back*

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I've said it before and I'll say it again...One of my daycare kids will be famous as a mass murderer or something... And I can be interviewed as his old babysitter. LOL