Tuesday – Saint Patty's Birthday Window
Mar. 17th, 2009 01:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
.
.
Today, March 17th, is Saint Patrick's Day. It is not my husband's birthday. My husband's birthday is March 7th, and has been for decades. I've got that part down.
Saint Patrick's Day is, however, the last day I allow myself to acknowledge Jeff's birthday and not be officially "late." I'm not good at birthdays, and I allow myself this 11 day window to keep from having to acknowledge that I'm an inconsiderate and forget spouse.
I'm such a bad wife, I may as well be a husband.
I first opened the Saint Patty's Birthday Window back on March 7th 1996, when Jeff and I had only been dating 7 years. We were, I believe, engaged-to-be-engaged at that point. He was working the night shift then, as he still does now, and was in the habit of stopping by my place to visit before he headed off to work. We spent an hour or so visiting before he said he had to go and I walked him to my door.
"Aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?" he asked.
I stared at him blankly. "It's not your birthday," I told him.
"Yes it is."
"Your birthday is the 17th."
"That's Saint Patrick's Day. My birthday is the 7th."
I suddenly felt very, very guilty. "Why'd you wait until now to remind me?" I asked. I like reminders about so-called important dates I'm supposed to remember. Something not-too-subtle such as, My birthday is a week from today! Mark your calendar! or Hey! It's my birthday! Let's do something!
"I wanted to see if you'd remember. We've been together awhile now, so I kind of thought you might."
I felt like I wanted to cry. Damn, I sucked. "This year, we're celebrating your birthday on the 17th," I told him.
He agreed that would be alright.
It's not as bad as the year I thought my stepmother's birthday was on December 7th instead of December 17th. I mused that there must be a reason that December 7th stuck out in my brain, and she reminded me that it is not the day she was born but rather the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor back in 1941 and a lot of people died. Silly me, how could I confuse the two dates?
This year, I did remember Jeff's birthday. Kind of. I didn't say anything to him when he came home that morning, or when I saw him that afternoon. I did, however, call him at work around 9 PM and wish him a happy birthday, when I finally remembered what day it was.
"I have until the 17th to make it up to you," I reminded him. We had a cake a few days later on one of his days off. Last Saturday I bought him some shirts (because he said he needed them) and gave them to him with the tags still on them in case he hated them. He doesn't look at tags, anyway. On Sunday I let him order a couple of CDs he wanted from Japanese artist Yoko Kanno, whose music he discovered from watching Cowboy Bebop late nights on Cartoon Network, and charge them to my PayPal account. When you are married to a very picky person, like Jeff and I both are, surprises are too much trouble. We'd both rather be delighted than surprised. It's the thought that counts, and then only if one of us remembers to think it.
And now Saint Patrick's Day is here, which is the last day of Jeff's long, piecemeal birthday celebration. I guess on my way home tonight, I'll stop and buy him a card. I suppose that would be a nice touch.
The next date I'll have to remember in regard to Jeff will be our wedding anniversary in September. I'm not losing any sleep over that one, because if it's like any of the other 8 wedding anniversaries we've had, the odds are we'll both forget it.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
.
.
Today, March 17th, is Saint Patrick's Day. It is not my husband's birthday. My husband's birthday is March 7th, and has been for decades. I've got that part down.
Saint Patrick's Day is, however, the last day I allow myself to acknowledge Jeff's birthday and not be officially "late." I'm not good at birthdays, and I allow myself this 11 day window to keep from having to acknowledge that I'm an inconsiderate and forget spouse.
I'm such a bad wife, I may as well be a husband.
I first opened the Saint Patty's Birthday Window back on March 7th 1996, when Jeff and I had only been dating 7 years. We were, I believe, engaged-to-be-engaged at that point. He was working the night shift then, as he still does now, and was in the habit of stopping by my place to visit before he headed off to work. We spent an hour or so visiting before he said he had to go and I walked him to my door.
"Aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday?" he asked.
I stared at him blankly. "It's not your birthday," I told him.
"Yes it is."
"Your birthday is the 17th."
"That's Saint Patrick's Day. My birthday is the 7th."
I suddenly felt very, very guilty. "Why'd you wait until now to remind me?" I asked. I like reminders about so-called important dates I'm supposed to remember. Something not-too-subtle such as, My birthday is a week from today! Mark your calendar! or Hey! It's my birthday! Let's do something!
"I wanted to see if you'd remember. We've been together awhile now, so I kind of thought you might."
I felt like I wanted to cry. Damn, I sucked. "This year, we're celebrating your birthday on the 17th," I told him.
He agreed that would be alright.
It's not as bad as the year I thought my stepmother's birthday was on December 7th instead of December 17th. I mused that there must be a reason that December 7th stuck out in my brain, and she reminded me that it is not the day she was born but rather the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor back in 1941 and a lot of people died. Silly me, how could I confuse the two dates?
This year, I did remember Jeff's birthday. Kind of. I didn't say anything to him when he came home that morning, or when I saw him that afternoon. I did, however, call him at work around 9 PM and wish him a happy birthday, when I finally remembered what day it was.
"I have until the 17th to make it up to you," I reminded him. We had a cake a few days later on one of his days off. Last Saturday I bought him some shirts (because he said he needed them) and gave them to him with the tags still on them in case he hated them. He doesn't look at tags, anyway. On Sunday I let him order a couple of CDs he wanted from Japanese artist Yoko Kanno, whose music he discovered from watching Cowboy Bebop late nights on Cartoon Network, and charge them to my PayPal account. When you are married to a very picky person, like Jeff and I both are, surprises are too much trouble. We'd both rather be delighted than surprised. It's the thought that counts, and then only if one of us remembers to think it.
And now Saint Patrick's Day is here, which is the last day of Jeff's long, piecemeal birthday celebration. I guess on my way home tonight, I'll stop and buy him a card. I suppose that would be a nice touch.
The next date I'll have to remember in regard to Jeff will be our wedding anniversary in September. I'm not losing any sleep over that one, because if it's like any of the other 8 wedding anniversaries we've had, the odds are we'll both forget it.
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 07:20 pm (UTC)My own birthday, I've been known to forget. :P
no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 11:02 pm (UTC)Mnemonics are the secret to survival!!!
Date: 2009-03-17 06:58 pm (UTC)At least you were blessed enough to be paired with somebody who didn't get heartburn about it.
Re: Mnemonics are the secret to survival!!!
Date: 2009-03-17 07:27 pm (UTC)Yes, I'm lucky to have a person it doesn't bother. No wonder he married me: no one else would put up with me.
Of course, the same can be said for me marrying him...
hell,..
Date: 2009-03-17 07:22 pm (UTC)Re: hell,..
Date: 2009-03-17 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 09:11 pm (UTC)16 - you get to drive.
17 - (in Texas) you've reached the age of consent
18 - you get to vote
21 - you get to drink
25 - they can stop carding you
30 - you get your first of several sets of black balloons and graveyard-themed cakes, which will from now on start arriving every 10 years.
After that, I agree: what's the point?
no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 09:32 pm (UTC)I like that theory.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 03:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-17 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 08:45 pm (UTC)Is your birthday in May? May 16th? Regardless, I'll forget when it comes around.
I told you I'm no good at this.
Happy early birthday 2009!
There, I'm covered.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 01:32 am (UTC)Yoko Kanno is awesome. I used to watch Cowboy Bebop all the time. "Greenbird" gives me goosebumps every time I hear it:
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 03:48 pm (UTC)Humor is like air, food and water for me: I can't live without it. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 02:07 pm (UTC)Heck I don't acknowledge any birthdays except my kids, husband, parents and his dad and his step-mom's. I let him deal with his mom. ;P I have no idea when his mom's husband's is.
*HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 03:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 04:18 pm (UTC)You just may be date dyslexic. LOL