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Last week, I was away from my desk training people to make presentations that are 1) for informational purposes only with no obligation to buy and 2) nevertheless geared to convince people buy funeral plans years ahead of their own deaths.

I've worked closely with salesmen in several industries, and I've come to the conclusion that a salesman is a salesman is a salesman, whether he's selling automobiles, insurance, mortgages, calcium chloride for melting ice on roads (one of my first jobs out of college) or funeral plans. The only real difference with the funeral pre-planning salesmen is that while all the other sales guys now get to wear Dockers and golf shirts, my salesmen still have to dress up in suits and ties. It's a serious, dignified product, and you have look serious and dignified if you want people to buy it.

Salesmen, as a breed, are generally friendly and personable. Spending too many days in a room full of them, however, is exhausting. Each time we have a group of them there is an amazing sameness to the assembly. The individuals are all different from each other, but they are each the same as someone who attended the last sales training we conducted.

There is always the perky woman in her 40's, the edgy-alternative type man or woman who looks conservative but is hiding tatoos beneath his or her business suit, the earnest but morose bald guy, the friendly fat guy, the quiet guy who turns out to be very funny when he starts talking, the hyperactive guy who never stops talking, and the guy who is so uncomfortable in front of a crowd that you wonder how he wound up working in sales at all. In our particular field, we also always have an ex-preacher. This last time around, we had two of them (a Southern Baptist and a Pentecostal). I'm not so sure that a group of insurance salesmen would have any preachers in it, but every group of funeral pre-need salesmen always has at least one ordained minister who has traded in missionary work for working for commissions.

The thing about the preachers is that they tend to be amazingly good at selling pre-need funeral plans. All I can figure is that in their last job, they got up in front of people and told them they were all gonna die, so they should really start making plans and be ready for the afterlife. After each sermon, they passed around a collection plate. In their new line of business, they get up in front of people and point out that they are all gonna die, so they might as well start making plans for their farewell party. After each presentation, they make themselves available to discuss payment plans.

Really, I guess it's not so different.



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Date: 2009-01-28 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] martina-d.livejournal.com
Haha, that's funny! My husband is a salesperson by nature, and gets told all the time that he should be a preacher. =)

Date: 2009-01-29 02:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
From what I've seen, if he's good at one he'll be good at the other. :)

Date: 2009-01-29 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com
I have a friend who ran a local gentlemen's club. In watching him deal with the ladies, I always thought that he had the same sort of aura as a TV preacher, the good looks, the baritone voice, the slick handshake with the right hand, while pulling tithes out of your pocket with the left. I once told him that when his club days were over, we should start a TV ministry. He laughed at me. Maybe I missed the mark. Maybe his true calling is in selling caskets. I must mention this the next time I see him.

Date: 2009-01-29 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
He'd make a lot more money as a TV preacher. That is, until the sex scandals and exposed tax frauds cause his empire to crumble around him.

Date: 2009-01-29 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenelycam.livejournal.com
Sales is sales...At least according to Greg. Though he really doesn't fit any of the stereotypes. He fakes it well. :P

Date: 2009-01-29 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neanahe.livejournal.com
Being able to fake sincerity convincingly is the hallmark of a good salesman, I think.

Date: 2009-01-30 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenelycam.livejournal.com
Must be.

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