Thursday – Mortgage Experience Makes For A Subprime Résumé

[ninanevermore]

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Just yesterday I got an email from my friend the Cajun Queen, giving me her new address in New England so I can send her a Christmas card. Needless to say, I'd emailed her to ask for it some weeks ago. I asked if she had a new email address that she checks more than once a month that I should know about. She replied, no, she just hadn't been checking her email lately. It seems she'd been looking for a job last year and, despite sending out 100 resumes, she did not receive a single offer. This put her in such a funk that she stopped checking her messages all together.

Now, my friend the Cajun Queen is probably about the hardest worker I know. Cajuns, as a group, work almost as hard as they play, which is pretty damn hard. She has an excellent work history and is not one to arbitrarily walk away from any job. Her problem is that most of her jobs have been in the mortgage industry, and her last job was with a subprime lender that has not just gone belly up, but is starting to bloat. This creates a job hunting dilemma for her: the mortgage companies that have not gone under are laying people off rather than hiring, and anyone associated with that field is kind of a pariah right about now.

This got me thinking about how looking for a job is never pleasant, but searching for a job during a global economic meltdown is its own brand of misery. They say there are 5 stages to grief, but I think there are 8 stages to unemployment. They are:

1. Hopeful Enthusiasm: "Wow, this'll be great! I see this as a chance to start off in a new direction. I'll be working again in no time!"

2. Subdued Enthusiasm: "Well, it's taking a little longer than I thought, but something will come along now any day – I can feel it."

3. Dawning Realization: "This is turning out to be a long, hard slog. Maybe I should look into food stamps."

4. Bitterness: "What do they mean they like me, I have a great résumé, I give a great interview, and they'll keep me in mind? What the ##!!!%? It sounds like they're saying they love me, but they're not in love with me! I'm lovable, damnit! Somebody hire me!"

5. Depression: "##!!!% it. I don't really want to work, anyway. I'd rather stay at home and watch infomercials. My Ped Egg should be arriving any day now."

6. Despair: "My credit card was declined and they won't send my Ped Egg. Not only am I useless and undesirable, I have ugly feet and there's nothing I can do about it."

7. Desperation: "I don't need to make as much money as I did before. I just need to get back in the workforce before my food stamps run out."

8. Resignation: "Would you like fries with that?"

I set up seminars to help sell pre-paid funerals to old veterans. It's like flipping burgers in a lot of ways, but not so hard on the complexion (working fast food always gives you zits, but my skin is as nice as ever, if a bit pasty from sitting in a cubicle all day).

I'm hoping the Queen finds a job soon, hopefully in a field that isn't in the processing of collapsing. If she winds up flipping burgers, I can guarantee they'll be the best burgers anyone has ever tasted, served up with a heaping side of sass.



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Comments

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

I was flipping channels last night and I came across and episode of "Dog the Bounty Hunter". They were in the home of a fellow bounty hunter in Colorado. As the show progressed, I found myself completely ignoring the actors and looking at the background to check out this guy's house. It was beautiful. There were entire trees that had been stripped and finished so that they could be integrated into the decor of the home. That's when it hit me, the worse the economy gets, the more of a future (and excellent pay) there will be in crime and all of it's related fields (like bounty hunting). I'm sure that with her Cajun charm and work ethic, she could be tracking down skips and bringing them to justice in no time.

Don't laugh, this is MY backup plan.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

And good luck with that. As long as the whole getting shot at thing is not a problem for you.

Wait a minute, what about your whole "non threatening black male" persona? Won't that be a kind of a handicap?

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

As long as the whole getting shot at thing is not a problem for you.

I swear, it's like you and Babe read from the same book of replies every time I come up with a brilliant new plan.

And while it is true, the NTBM is an integral part of my personality, but I could learn to fake it for the right financial incentive.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

It's the Married Woman's Book of Snarky Replies. When a couple gets married, another woman always passes along a copy of this book the bride when the groom isn't looking.

The great thing about the snarky replies is that they can be used not just on your on husband, but on other people's husbands and eventually on grown sons who need to be taken down a peg.

I'm surprised that after all this time, men haven't figured out that this book exist. After almost 9 years of marriage, my own copy is pretty dogeared. ;D

[drippedonpaper.livejournal.com]

I NEEED That book!!!:)

I love your 8 stages. My husband is on his 12 job since we married (this one has stuck for almost 8 years though so that's nice) but I definitely remember the 8 stages. We never did food stamps and he never worked fast food since we were married but everything else was pretty realistic to us.

Job hunting is hard. In 3 years if not sooner, it will be me beating on doors and hoping...

You always crack me up:)

heaping side of sass

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

well that's a good survival trait,..o.o

Re: heaping side of sass

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Cajuns survive everything; they're cool like that. Like Rasputin, they are almost impossible to kill.

[mugglemomjsw.livejournal.com]

I hope she finds a job soon, too. The hubs has been there. And now that it looks like a possibility that I might not be able to work one day, my brother is trying to get Brian on at Chevron. On the Coast. So, we might be moving back to the Coast. Ugh. But, he's been at Step #8 for a Looooonnnngggg time. Answering customer calls at Comcast for $10/hour has put him on blood pressure meds. :(

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

That would put anyone on blood pressure meds, and possibly antidepressants. I have Comcast, so I know for a fact that he gets calls from a lot of unhappy people (because as a service provider, Comcast sucks). People no doubt take out their frustration on him, even though the corporate bigwigs are the source of the problem.

He has my sympathy.

[woohag.livejournal.com]

That first paragraph alone sounds like what I am going through, exactly. UGH.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Looking for work sucks more than the suckiest job. In fact, it is a sucky job in of itself, and one that doesn't pay crap.

I hope something comes along soon.

[woohag.livejournal.com]

I have a few sucky jobs that don't pay enough, but they take up just enough time to keep me busy and keep me from having normal hours to take a part time job to fill them. Does that make sense? Anyway, you are so right...job hunting is a sucky job with no pay or reward (these days). Thanks for the well wishes!

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I've seen those stages...rather recently. How strange that Greg was laid off from the mortgage industry too. He doesn't have a Ped Egg...though I have one!! *giggles*

I hope she finds something soon. It's a really tough job market out there. Makes me think twice before giving up my daycare as I threaten to do daily...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Almost everyone who has worked for the mortgage industry has recently gotten laid off. The boom is over, and everyone is busted out. Poor Greg. If he gets mopey, let him use your Ped Egg and maybe it will cheer him up... :)

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

lol Maybe... It's winter...everyone could use a Ped Egg. :P

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

My mom's currently job-hunting, so I know the drill...

The trouble is, even if one IS willing to take something "beneath" his or her prior experience, if you will, generally they will not be hired, because the company/employer is suspicious: "Why do you want something you're overqualified for?", "Are you just biding time til you can find something better?" etc. Never mind that the economy is crap and people are desperate, or that people often start off in high, "desirable" fields that just don't make them very happy, so they choose to move down, or any number of other reasons. But it's like once you've done one thing, you're stuck with it for life.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I nipped that suspicion in the bud in the interview with, "The salary you're offering will be a raise over the unemployment benefits I'm making right now, which pay me $450 every two weeks." It put things in perspective for them.

My problem is I'm a professional general specialist. Everything I've done has been unique to the company I worked for, and had nothing to do with anything I'd ever done before. My main life skill is adaptability.