Tuesday – They Shoot Daddies, Don't They?

[ninanevermore]

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When I picked up my son from his daycare center the other day, I had an interesting conversation about deer hunting with one of his little classmates who is also 4 years old. It got me thinking about how different parents approach things. I don't like letting my son watch cartoons that are too violent. Heaven forbid he drop hit someone over the head with a heavy object because he saw Sponge Bob do it. Other people take their 4 year olds out to kill things. I'm not saying this is wrong. I'm just saying it's not how I spend a Saturday with my son, who believes that reindeer can fly if Santa asks them to. Then again, I'm not a redneck

I live in an area where urban and rural meet up. There within a few miles of my house, there are both multi-million dollar estates as well as trailer houses pushed together to make a poor man's mansion. Out in what my husband calls the "Ruburbs" (for rural suburbs) we are nothing if not eclectic.

The child I was speaking with is named Holden and his mother works for the daycare. Holden is an extrovert who likes to strike up conversations with people. He is also the son of a deer hunting redneck. As I was gathering up my own son and zipping him into his jacket, he announced, "I went deer hunting with my Daddy and we saw lots and lots of deers!"

"Wow! Did you get one?" I asked.

A look of disgust crossed little Holden's face. "Nuh-uh. My Daddy said no, because they were lots of mommies and babies."

"That’s right; you can't shoot the mommies and babies, can you?" I said sympathetically.

He shook his head sadly. "No, you can only shoot the daddies."

Apparently, this is the terminology Holden's dad has taught him. I don't like to tell other people how to raise their kids, but in light of the 8 year old in Arizona who is accused of having shot his father last week with a deer rifle, I think perhaps it might be best if the man used the terms "bucks" and "does" rather than "daddies" and "mommies," to avoid confusing the little man.

There was a time in my life, when I was young and sweet and tender, that I considered deer hunting to be barbaric. I thought deer were beautiful, graceful creatures and couldn't understand why anyone would want to do one any harm. Now I live in a neighborhood surrounded by forest, and I see deer for what they really: large vermin who view my yard as a sort of smorgasbord of yummy deer snacks free for the taking. When they aren't eating my plants, both ornamental and fruit bearing, then they are amusing themselves by leaping across the road in front of my car. Perhaps they are playing a sort of truth or dare, or maybe they just enjoy the look that crosses my face when I almost hit one of them (a couple of times I've grazed them, but I usually break and swerve in time). This seems to be a favorite sport for Bambi and his ilk.

"Look, did you see that?" I imagine the deer say after I've sped past, "I think I made her pee in her pants! Sweet!" Then the deer click hooves together in a quadruped version of a high five and laugh at me.

Deer have lost their charm for me. The idea of putting fake deer with lights on them as Christmas decorations strikes me as ludicrous. If I wanted decorative deer on my lawn, I could just throw some tinsel on the deer that are already standing there eating my shrubs.

I recently read that, due to the demise of every natural predator the deer has except for the redneck and his cousin, the good 'ol boy, there are more deer in the United States today than there ever have been. When I can look into my backyard and see more than a dozen does and their offspring walking around like they own the place, I believe it. You see a lot of the same plants over and over in the yards around me, such as boxwood, crepe myrtle, and oleander. These are plants on the short list of Things That Deer Won't Eat. 99.9% of all ornamental plants are not on this list.

No, I don't object if little Holden's father wants to teach him how to keep the ballooning population of deer in check. If my homeowners association didn't have a rule against it, I'd consider letting him sit on my back porch and start with the ones in my yard. Maybe that would teach them to leave my rose bushes alone.


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Comments

[simplecity2htwn.livejournal.com]

I'll never truly be a full-fledged Texan because I think that deer hunting isn't really sport. To me, it would be hunting if the deer and the human competed on a level playing field. No gun, no deer pee, no deer corn. Just a man (or woman), a big stick to compete against the antlers, and his or her ability (or lack thereof) to capture and kill the deer with his or her bare hands.

That being said, I do appreciate that I grew up in the concrete jungle called DC and that the only wildlife I ever saw usually had big teeth and long tails.

If you do off one someday, I reserve the right to update my mental image of you to Olive Snook, Bambi Killer.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

In truth, I don't consider using bate and sitting in a deer stand drinking beer to be actual hunting. I call that" deer shooting," and it's every bit as sportsman like as using dynamite to go "fishing."

Then again, you haven't seen the herds of these things on my lawn. In the last few years, I've gone from see a few of them at a time to seeing more than a dozen or more in my back yard at one time. There has been a population boom, and they aren't cute anymore. There are no more bears, or wolves, or cougars or any of the other things that used to keep them in check just guys with guns and automobiles (or sometimes guys with guns in automobiles), and the occasional armed pre-schooler.

You don't need feed or fake deer pee or anything to lure them. If you throw a stick, you'll probably hit a deer. Even if you drink a whole case of beer before taking aim (as many of the deer shooters I've known have been prone to doing), you can still have a successful "hunt." You may not hit the deer you were aiming for, but you have a good chance of hitting the one standing next to it, or the one standing next to that one.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

My ex and his dad hunt. I hated it. I know there's a reason for it. I get the overpopulation thing, but I still don't like it. I'm such a softie...

I agree that little boy should probably be taught the proper terminology of "buck" and "doe" at least. They're not huge words...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I have mixed feelings: I don't like hunting, I just hate deer. :P

I really did used to think they were pretty. When I get a taller fence installed around my backyard, I may think so again.

I've never been a hunter, but I grew up around them. Until I stop eating meat (and I don't plan on it any time soon), I'm in no position to tell anyone that it's wrong.

If there were a way to put birth control pills in my rose bushes, I think that would be a more humane way to control their population. Perhaps they could breed roses (and hostas; deer freaking love hostas) that work as deer birth control. I'd be happy to put these plants in my yard. Heck, I'd be happy to put them in my neighbor's yards, as well.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I hate this time of year. So many deer related accidents. I've hit one, but I was going REALLY slow because of ice. I had deer fur in the hood of my car, and that was it. o.O

I think they're pretty, but I really don't have an affinity towards animals in general. I don't dislike them, I'm just not INTO them.

And yeah, I eat meat too, I can't say it's wrong, I just don't want to be there...or see it...ya know?

That would be a nice idea. Someone should look into that!! ^.~

[poetlady.livejournal.com]

I think this was a great story, I like how you phrase things. I found myself laughing.

I do tend to hate that people hunt but you did make some valid points.

I try to teach my son to be non-aggressive too. He'll be 8 in April and this year we finally eased up some, letting him have Spiderman toys etc because it seems we were the only parents in his class that don't allow aggresive stuff. He was being teased EVERY DAY, crying at home about it (yes, he's too old but it hurts to him)

He still isn't going to play Halo. Why do these parents allow 7 year olds to play games like that? I'd rather they take them hunting deer than allow that!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I don't tend to take up hunting myself, and my husband is also not a hunter. We own deer rifles, but they're heirlooms; I don't even know if they'll still fire.

To my mind, 4 seems a bit young to take a child hunting (8 or 9 seems more reasonable), but what do I know? I think that when there are loaded weapons involved the child needs to be past the age of unpredictability, and I don't think a 4 year old is there yet.

Halo? Heck, no. There is a reason they put age restriction lables on games like that, and parents who ignore these labels are negligent, at best.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

Johnnie's Myspace page recently said something about looking forward to taking little J hunting for the first time. I hope he means in a few years, but who knows? I asked him if he'd be willing to take Buddy some day (DEFINITELY years from now), since I don't really know anyone else who could. No response, yet.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that. I'm hoping he meant in a few years and not, you know, next year. Hunting with toddlers just seems like a bad idea to me. o_0