Thursday – I'm Adorable, Damnit!

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking the conversation about my job that my husband I had last night while we listened to our son splash in the bathtub.

"Another hard day?" he asked.

"They're all hard," I said. "I feel about as welcome as a bastard at a family reunion when I show up. Neither of them wish me a good morning. Neither of them really speaks to me at all, really. We haven't bonded, and now Dixie hates me. I got an email from Joe yesterday, and I realized how much I miss him and the others. I miss working with people I like and who like me back."

"Why does Dixie hate you?"

"I don't know. I haven't done anything to her. She just does. She's one of those people that makes up her mind not to like someone, and then thinks everyone else should follow suit. Every time we train a new group of presenters, she'll pick one or two of them out of the crowd and say," I slipped into Dixie's exaggerated Southern Drawl, "'I don't like him; he's arrogant,' or 'I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about her that I just don't like, and since I like pretty much everybody, that must means something.' Then she talks trash about them whenever they're out of earshot. Well, now she doesn't like me, and I have a good idea what she's saying to everyone who'll listen."

Jeff sighed sympathetically. "I'm sorry, honey."

I gave a sigh of self pity and frowned. "Me, too."

"This always happens to you, doesn't it? There's just something about you."

"It's not that nobody likes me; Joe and Melanie and Sara all liked me just fine when I worked with them. It's not that I'm unlikable."

"I know that; I like you. But certain people seem to always have it in for you."

"I seem to have a polarizing effect on people," I agreed.

"You really do," he said, "People either adore you, or they want you dead."

"Yeah, what's up with that? I'm pretty adorable, when you think about it. Ask anyone who adores me, they'll tell you."

Jeff kissed me. "You are very adorable," he said. "Me and our little boy both think so."

"Thank you." I laid my head against his chest. "Of course, you have to."

"Why do I have to?"

"Because it's your job. You stood up at the front of a chapel and promised you'd love and honor and cherish me or drop dead trying. I'm holding you to that."

"Did I say that? All I remember is a crowd of people, a blur of colors, and then there was cake afterward."

"You did, so no trying to weasel out of it."

"I wouldn't think of it."

We kissed and cuddled a bit, until the other person who thinks I'm adorable called out to us that he wanted us to scoop up bubbles from his bubble bath in our hands and blow them so that they would drift down over him and he could pretend it was snowing. So I obliged him and created a bubble snowstorm, and in doing so I got to feel appreciated in a way that I never do at the office.


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Comments

[ignusfaatus.livejournal.com]

i can relate.

but I am not sure the feelings we have are real. doesn't it seem to everyone that they are either liked or hated?

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

No, some people seem to inspire neutrality. Others of us seem to have personalities that demand an opinion from people, and that opinion is not always in our favor.

office politics,..

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

all and all, i'm still glad i was normally feared enough to not openly dislike,..o.o

Re: office politics,..

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

When you are a 5 foot tall woman with a voice like a cartoon, it's hard to get people to fear you unless you play the crazy card (which, while powerful, has some drawbacks when it comes to getting raises and promotions).

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

Isn't it weird how some people just have it out for others...for no good reason. I get that too. People either love me or hate me. It's eerie.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's wistful thinking on my part, but I've noticed that the people who don't like me are generally a little bit nuts, and I'll notice this about them even before they make me public enemy #1. People who are not nuts don't launch a vendetta against someone who hasn't wronged them in any real way. :P

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should start looking at it that way. The people who generally don't like me, I always see as bitchy first. ;P

[niecystrips.livejournal.com]

File me away in the "adores you" camp.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! ^_^