Tuesday – Rainy Day Friendship

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about my son's girlfriend, a chubby 3 year old at his daycare named Rainy. She is the only one of his little classmates that he calls his friend, but their relationship is rocky at times.

A 3 year old is not always forthcoming with information, so it has to be coaxed out of them.

"Is Rainy your friend?" I asked him the other day.

He nodded. "Yes, Wainy's my fwiend."

"Is Thomas your friend?"

He shook his head adamantly. "No, Thomas isn't my fwiend, Wainy's my fwiend!"

"What about Isaiah? Is he your friend?"

"No, only Wainy."

"What about Madison? Is she your friend?"

"Only Wainy."

Now that we had the part about friendship established, it was time to breach the subject of how we don't treat our fwiends.

"So Rainy and you are friends, right?"

"White."

"But did you bite Rainy?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I had a toy and Wainy tried to take it away fwom me." He stated this calmly, as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world.

"If someone tries to take something away from you, it doesn't mean you get to bite them. You can say, 'No!' and go ask your teacher for help," I told him.

He looked at me as if I were a complete moron. He has been around long enough to know that teachers are unreliable creatures who might take a disputed toy away altogether. Better to make a stand on your own – backed up by your teeth, if necessary – than to count on an outsider to do the right thing on your behalf. The day I signed the incident report, I noticed that he came home with a set of teeth marks on his arm, as well. Apparently Rainy is the kind of girl who can dish it out as well as she takes it.

"Rainy and you are still friends? Even though she tried to take your toy?"

He nodded. "I wike Wainy," he said.

"As long as you are still friends, that's what matters. But let's try and not bite Rainy or anyone else anymore, okay?"

He gave a sigh of resignation, though I could tell he did not agree with my logic. "Okay," he said.

I guess that even the best relationships between men and women are complicated, and fraught with moments of misunderstanding. Women sometimes make demands that men find unreasonable, and men have a tendency toward refusing to yield and to share, even when it would cost them little and benefit them a lot. Through my son, I've learned that this pattern starts very, very early.


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Comments

biting?,..

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

yeah, been there,..;)

Re: biting?,..

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Did biting her solve the problem? That's the real question here.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

Teachers are Socialist, dontcha know... especially Pre-K teachers. Toddlers are the ultimate pro-NRA Libertarians! "Try to take my toy? Like heck I'm gonna ask for help from that Communist biotch... I'll take care of this my own dang self!!!"

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Considering that all the toys belong to the school, it is a socialist system that he has to learn to work within.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

Viva La Revolution! *chomp*

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

If it's a revolution he's trying to stage, he really should be biting the teacher. He's biting a fellow patriot, and that's the problem here.

[(Anonymous)]

...I think his argument might hold up in court.

[anne-nahm.livejournal.com]

That would be me up there.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Sure, in a toddler court run by other toddlers. :)

[jessnhalinda.livejournal.com]

I, too, think your son may be on to something. My co-workers like to take my pens.

I found buying a pretty light-pink pen solved that problem nicely, for now, as I'm currently the only female on site. However, if my pink pen turns up in a male hand...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I like those pens made to look like a silk flower arrangement (usually in a flower pot filled with beans) that receptionists have. No one steals those awful things.

Just don't bite the guy who takes your pen. I hear HR looks down on that kind of thing, and a time out will be the least of your problems (no matter how much he deserves it).

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

To this day, I have vivid memories of a Play-Skool farmhouse in kindergarten, which I never, ever got to use :-(

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I always liked the giant tinker toys that my kindergarten had.

Maybe you should have bit the kids who hogging the farmhouse. That would have taught them to share -- just ask my son.

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

To the best of my knowledge, I was NEVER a biter...as in, I don't recall it ever even crossing my mind to bite someone. I have no idea why, since it seems like a fairly typical reaction in kids.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

It's a common behavior in toddlers (between the ages of 1 and 3), but most kids are broken of the habit by the time they are 4 or 5, which are the earliest ages that most of us have memories from. There are some exceptions to the rule, of course.

I do remember biting my brothers, but that was usually in a hand-to-hand combat situation where I was being held down and wanted them to let go of me. They totally deserved it, and I'm not sorry one bit.

[hermes-wade.livejournal.com]

Wow, I know a full grown Rainy, but I thought it was a pretty unique name.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

It was until this latest crop of under 5 year olds. I have met a Rainy, a couple of Rains, and one Rhaine. Different is the new common.

Long-lost relative??

[adamant-turtle.livejournal.com]

There's a kid in my database at work, named Stormy...