Thursday - Counting Blessings
Mar. 13th, 2008 03:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was thinking about the day it was determined by the women I worked with one part of my body is substandard, and that I don't have to worry about men watching me from behind because there is nothing to see there.
One day back when I worked for the technology company, the two guys for the office were both out for the day. This meant that the Cajun Queen, Monica the temp, and I had the place to ourselves. As much affection as we felt for Matt and Joe, they are both kind of prissy and conservative, so we women loved it when they were gone and we didn't have to watch what we said lest we make these good, decent men blush.
For some reason, the Cajun Queen started complaining about her butt. She is a slender woman, as long and narrow as a ribbon with legs that go on a few inches past the point when common sense tells you they ought to stop. But her ribbon-like body has a little bounce in one area.
"I mean, look at me!" the Queen complained, "There's almost nothing to me, until I turn around, and then I've got this Cajun Woman's Butt!" She turned around and peered over her shoulder at it. "I mean, look at this ghetto booty here!" The Queen's derriere is not wide to the side, but when she turns in profile it curves out like a capital letter C stuck to the margin of a page.
"Ghetto booty? You call that a ghetto booty?" exclaimed Monica, a petite curvy Latina from Houston's east side. She stood up and displayer her own backside, "Girl, this is a ghetto booty!" Her backside is like an upside down heart positioned at the top of her legs. Not only does she have back, she has hips to go with it.
"Wow," said the Queen and I. With the guys around, it seems we had never checked out and compared each other's assets before. The Queen and Monica have assets to be proud of.
I looked at them both and grimaced. "Y'all are making me sad," I said.
"Why?" asked Monica.
I stood up and gloomily walked around my desk to show off what I didn't have to show off. I turned around and said, "Look."
There was a moment of silence, then the both said, "Oh." They said it in union, slowly and with a lot of pity.
I turned back around and held up my chin. "But I've got these to make up for it," I said, pointing to my chest. I have both of them beat in this department.
"True dat," said the Queen. I could tell that they still felt kind of sorry for me, though.
This was confirmed later that afternoon, when I heard Monica talking to her husband on the phone and telling him about our show and tell session. "Then Sarah said she had a ghetto booty, and I told her that what she had wasn't a ghetto booty at all, and if she wanted to see a ghetto booty she needed to look at me." She laughed. "But then Nina stood up and, well," her tone of voice changed from mirthful to sympathetic, "she's just not blessed."
Somehow hearing it put that way didn't help. I admit, from time to time I've felt a little lacking in this area. I even felt a little deficient. But lacking and deficient are nothing compared to knowing that you are not blessed while those around you are.
I put my head down on my desk and sighed.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
One day back when I worked for the technology company, the two guys for the office were both out for the day. This meant that the Cajun Queen, Monica the temp, and I had the place to ourselves. As much affection as we felt for Matt and Joe, they are both kind of prissy and conservative, so we women loved it when they were gone and we didn't have to watch what we said lest we make these good, decent men blush.
For some reason, the Cajun Queen started complaining about her butt. She is a slender woman, as long and narrow as a ribbon with legs that go on a few inches past the point when common sense tells you they ought to stop. But her ribbon-like body has a little bounce in one area.
"I mean, look at me!" the Queen complained, "There's almost nothing to me, until I turn around, and then I've got this Cajun Woman's Butt!" She turned around and peered over her shoulder at it. "I mean, look at this ghetto booty here!" The Queen's derriere is not wide to the side, but when she turns in profile it curves out like a capital letter C stuck to the margin of a page.
"Ghetto booty? You call that a ghetto booty?" exclaimed Monica, a petite curvy Latina from Houston's east side. She stood up and displayer her own backside, "Girl, this is a ghetto booty!" Her backside is like an upside down heart positioned at the top of her legs. Not only does she have back, she has hips to go with it.
"Wow," said the Queen and I. With the guys around, it seems we had never checked out and compared each other's assets before. The Queen and Monica have assets to be proud of.
I looked at them both and grimaced. "Y'all are making me sad," I said.
"Why?" asked Monica.
I stood up and gloomily walked around my desk to show off what I didn't have to show off. I turned around and said, "Look."
There was a moment of silence, then the both said, "Oh." They said it in union, slowly and with a lot of pity.
I turned back around and held up my chin. "But I've got these to make up for it," I said, pointing to my chest. I have both of them beat in this department.
"True dat," said the Queen. I could tell that they still felt kind of sorry for me, though.
This was confirmed later that afternoon, when I heard Monica talking to her husband on the phone and telling him about our show and tell session. "Then Sarah said she had a ghetto booty, and I told her that what she had wasn't a ghetto booty at all, and if she wanted to see a ghetto booty she needed to look at me." She laughed. "But then Nina stood up and, well," her tone of voice changed from mirthful to sympathetic, "she's just not blessed."
Somehow hearing it put that way didn't help. I admit, from time to time I've felt a little lacking in this area. I even felt a little deficient. But lacking and deficient are nothing compared to knowing that you are not blessed while those around you are.
I put my head down on my desk and sighed.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 08:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 01:39 am (UTC)First I checked my drivers license, and it said that my name was not Tina Fey. Then I tried to remember the day I did the photoshoot for that American Express ad with my adorable baby daughter, and remembered that I, in fact, have an adorable son. Finally, I checked my bank account balance, and after that I was certain that I am not a Hollywood success story -- or any sort of success story, for that matter. Finally, I remembered that I don't wear glasses.
I look kind of like this:
Which, as you can see, is nothing like Tina Fey. I wouldn't mind being her, but it seems not to be the case.
Sorry for any confusion.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 02:06 pm (UTC)not blessed
Date: 2008-03-13 09:05 pm (UTC)Re: not blessed
Date: 2008-03-13 09:48 pm (UTC)got plenty
Date: 2008-03-13 10:17 pm (UTC)Re: got plenty
Date: 2008-03-13 10:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-13 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 07:12 pm (UTC)But you'd have to have me beat in the chest dept no matter how big or small you are... I'm Asian...what can I say? No boobs...or very little. :P And I used to feel bad about that, but hey, if Greg is okay, I'm okay!!
no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 07:21 pm (UTC)Not all Asians have small chests. I used to think they did, too, until I met my Philippina buddy with big boobs and a bubble butt (and she's all natural, too).
no subject
Date: 2008-03-14 07:33 pm (UTC)Yeah, it would be boring. I'm okay with not having a Barbie figure now. ^^