Friday - The best gift is one you give yourself. Really.

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about the gifts we get and give. I'm not talking about talent, or those warm fuzzy gifts that come from the heart. Sure, those are nice, but can you really return them and buy yourself something you've been wanting for a long time? Of course not. I'm talking about the gifts we spend money on, and that other people spend money to buy for us. Here in the aftermath of Christmas, it is a good time to reflect on gifts, and how I'm glad I don't have to buy or receive any more of them for a good long while.

My 3 year old sees thing differently. Every few days since Christmas, he has been inquiring about when Santa is going to bring him more gifts. Christmas morning was just about the coolest thing he can ever remember happening to him.

My son keeps asking if there are more toys in his stocking, which is still hanging up because I haven't had time to put the Christmas decorations away yet. I have patiently explained that the stockings only get filled on Christmas day, and that he has to wait another year before he will find his stocking stuffed with goodies again.

"I wan wook,"* he says.

I take down a stocking and hand it to him, and he peers inside just to see if there might be anything in there he might have missed before. Then he reaches inside all the way down to the heel, and feels around. When it is obvious that the thing is empty, he begins scrounging around for small toys, and begins refilling his stocking with them, just so he can go through the motions of rediscovering them. I can understand why he does this: he gets it from me.

I am not ashamed to say that emptying my stocking is my favorite part of Christmas morning. I love all the little trinkets and lotions and small gifts that I find in my Christmas stocking. More ever, I know before I take my stocking down from the mantel every year that I will love everything in it, because I am the one who bought each item and lovingly wrapped it with tissue paper and ribbon. Jeff is lousy at buying stocking stuffers, and I know it is up to me if I expect to get anything in my stocking at all. Jeff has lousey taste, so I'm okay with this.

On Christmas morning this year, I was more excited to open my stocking than I was the gifts from everyone else. I've been told that I'm hard to buy for, because I can never tell people exactly what it is I want. The truth is, I don't know that I want something until I see it. So every year I get a lot of things like candles, candleholders, fancy soaps, and picture frames: the gifts people give a woman when they don't know what she likes.

But my stocking – that was filled with things I saw, wanted, and purchased. Everything in it was a guaranteed hit.

"Look! Earrings! Santa loves me!" I said, and held them up to show Jeff.

"You're pathetic," he said.

"Hmmm, I wonder what else is in here? Oh, more earrings! I must have been good this year!"

"You make me sad when you do this," Jeff said.

"Oh, shut up and open your own stocking. I bet you've got some good stuff in there, too. Oooooo, a necklace! Look how pretty this is! I'm going to put this on right now; I really like it."

Jeff sighed and began emptying his own oversized Christmas sock. It had some Pepperidge Farm Amaretto Milano Cookies and a lot of little things from the hardware store that Santa thought he might like, as well as a beef summer sausage that took up the whole foot part of the stocking. "Cool," he said, inspecting his loot.

"Not as cool as my stuff," I pointed out, "Look, I found another pair of earrings. Maybe Santa just likes me more than you."

"Possibly," he agreed.

Our little boy must have been better than both of us, though. He had two stockings, thanks to doting grandparents who all thought they would be the first to buy our baby his first one. For the sake of family peace, I can truthfully say to both sides that, yes, we do use the stocking they gave us. His stockings had small cars, airplains, helicopters, and Thomas the Tank engine cars, among other things. Neither Jeff nor I got anything as so wonderful, as far as our son was concerned. He carefully inspected our gifts as we took them out, and found that none of them were very interesting.

Now, it's time to pack Christmas away again (okay, past time) and incorporate our gifts into our life. I have already re-gifted the day planner that a person who adores day planners so thoughtfully gave me, by giving it to someone else I know who actually likes day planners. I have set the little candle and rocks display that my sister in law gave me next to the almost identical one she gave me a couple of years ago. The book that I got I will put on the shelf, because I thoroughly enjoyed the same book when I bought it in paperback to read a year ago, but the hardcover looks nicer next to the lamp. The little cheese grater is in the kitchen with the other cheese graters ("You like cheese, and we always seem to be washing one when we need it, so I thought I'd get you a backup," Jeff said, and I can't argue with that logic).

As for these earrings I'm wearing, I think they're adorable. Next year, I think I'll ask Santa to spurge a little more on me, since it takes more than candles and cheese graters to make a girl happy on Christmas morning.


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* toddler talk for "I want to look."

Comments

I'm asking this now...

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

so that, perhaps, you'll have forgotten by next year:

What colors do you like to wear? What style of jewelry are you partial to? Long necklaces, or chokers, or something in between, or are you partial at all? Short earrings or dangles or "chandelier"? Do you like bracelets at all? Ethnic/boho stuff is pretty popular right now, and very easy to make, but I see you in something more classic these days (as opposed to the funky stuff I imagine suited you in your bleached-blonde pixie days *grin*).

And what's your favorite lotion store? Assuming I can remember all this next year, maybe Santa and I can conspire to provide you with a SURPRISE for Christmas. :)

Re: I'm asking this now...

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Since you asked:

I like deep rich jewel tones and earth tones; I dislike brights and pastels (they don't work on me). Burgundy, not orange; Navy blue, not sky; Forrest Green, not seafoam, etc. Earthy golds please me, too. The colors of Malachite, Tigereye, Red Brown Jasper, Garnets, Amber and Turquoise are good place to get an idea of my preferred palette for clothes and everything else.

Heavy necklaces give me a headache, so nothing too clunky. I don't like to be choked, so mid-length is best. Earring should dangle, but not so far as my shoulders. The design should not be cutesy (no flowers or teddy bears or dolphins), but more abstract. I like hoops, but not too small; 1 to 1.5 inches in diameter is ideal. Anything beyond 2" is exessive.

Lotions: nothing too heavy or cloying. I like sweet smells (vanilla tones), not most florals. I hate any smell associated with the color purple (you have to hang out in lotion shops to understand what that means; certain smells are often associated with a particular color). Smells that come in cream colors, light blues and pale greens, and some pink smells are usually okay.

*sigh* Why am I considered so picky?

Re: I'm asking this now... (one more thing)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention bracelets: I do wear them, on occasion. I'm more likely to wear one if it's in a style without a clasp, because clasps are such a pain.

Have you forgotten that we don't usually exchange gifts, you and I? I mean, I think I gave you a t-shirt for Christmas in 1992, but that was the only time I can recall doing something like that. As I recall, I bought the t-shirt because I thought you'd like it, then remembered that we didn't ever exchange gifts so I wore it myself. Then, after Christmas that year, I asked how your Christmas was and you said, "Hard Candy." So I told you about the shirt and asked if you still wanted it, and you did. I dug it out of my clean laundry and handed it over without wrapping it.

With that in mind, I suppose you do still owe me one Christmas gift. Whatever it is, please feel free to wear or use it once yourself before giving it to me, so that we are even in every way. ;D

Re: I'm asking this now... (one more thing)

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

I don't give gifts just to people who give them to me. In fact, I only give a gift if I find something that REALLY hits me as something a person would like. Until now, I wouldn't have known WHAT to get you for Christmas or a birthday... but now I do!

Hopefully, you won't be insulted by something hand-made from items purchased at Wal-Mart. Those stores that fought to keep their craft areas open have some really nice beads and findings right now.

Re: I'm asking this now... (one more thing)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I'm rarely insulted by a gift (perplexed on occasion, but never insulted). Handmade gifts are always flattering and treasured. Since I myself can't make anything that anyone else would want, they are always kind of humbling, too.

[mugglemomjsw.livejournal.com]

Oh, Santa was much better to Jackson this year than Mom and Dad. And Christmas was absolutely precious this year! He was very dubious at the beginning that Santa Clause comes down the chimney. ("Santa come down the fireplace?" he says.) Then he warmed to the idea until he became slightly psychotic about it. He still doesn't quite understand how that HUGE train table fit down the fireplace and how Santa knew how much he liked Woody (from Toy Story) and where did Santa find all those Thomas trains?? Good times. He even had to show me each present he got from Santa as he got them out of our big Santa bag.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Now that I'm grown, Santa only fills my stocking and gives small gifts to us grownups. I always felt bad for my parents, not having a stocking. I still love stockings, so I still have one and I'm just enough of a kid at heart that Santa puts presents in it (I did this even when I didn't have a child, and didn't change when I did).

I love that fat old guy, I really do. He's good to me.

Jeff is not a kid at heart, but Santa feels bad for him and gives him stuff anyway. Neither of us, however, get as much stuff as the boy, who gets presents from not only Santa, but grandparents, aunts and uncles, and one each from Mom and Dad (we grab a couple things from out of the Santa stack), because when I was little I wondered why my parents didn't give me anything. Their answer was, "Santa brought you plenty. What do you need with something from me?"

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I have to do that too. Actually Santa's not very nice to Greg and I. This year we only got candy and toothbrushes. ;P

The girls get lipglosses, candy, toothbrushes, toothpaste (can't give candy without caring for oral hygiene), dvds, toys, hairbrushes, and who knows what else. They used to get hair things, but only Camie and Elycia get their hair put up. Jen always wears hers down.

Your son is just too cute!!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

As long as it was good candy and quality toothbrushes, that's all that matters. For example, if Santa put Godiva in your stocking, it means you were so good he was beside himself. If all you got was Hersheys, it means you were okay, but could have been a lot better.

(Santa never brings me Godiva; even the earring he got me had stickers showing they were on clearance. I'll have to try harder this year.)

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

*giggles* It was Hershey mint truffle kisses. But I'd never had them before and I LOVED them. :P We get electric toothbrushes (colgate for the grownups)

So I guess we were okay...

[diabological.livejournal.com]

I am soo like this with Christmas too.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, you have to accept that no body else is going to please you, so just have to please yourself.

Whether we are talking about sex or jewelry, I'm afraid the same rule applies.