Tuesday – Phone Call From Heaven
Dec. 11th, 2007 01:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreI think the only way I could have handled the news yesterday about Leslie with grace and humor would have been if she could have called me and delivered it herself. With almost every phone call, she had a way of making me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. Leslie, I think, would have appreciated her own death in a way that none of us left behind will ever be able to.
I can hear her voice with its slow Texas drawl, gravely from years of cigarettes and yelling at her son's doctors and nurses who needed to be taken down a peg.
"Hey girl, it's your cousin Leslie Carol! Listen, you are never going to believe what I did on Sunday. Never in a million years. I can't even believe it myself. Are you ready? I died!"
"No way."
"No, girl, I swear, I did. I didn't plan on it, but boom, it just happened."
"I don't believe you. You can't die; you're too full of piss and vinegar. No one as ornery as you can just up and die."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you? Shit, it took me by surprise, too."
"But you're calling me..."
"Yeah, turns out they let you make a phone call if you want."
"Oh. I see. So heaven is like...jail?"
"Only in this one way, honey."
"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry, Leslie, I'm having a hard time taking this in. I can't really imagine a world without you in it."
"I know, baby girl, I know. I'm having a hard time imagining a world without me in it, too. But you're gonna be all right. I know you can handle this. You're strong, girl, even if you don't know it."
"I gotta take your word for that, because I'm not so sure right now."
"Well, I just thought I'd call you and let you know what was going on with me. I figured it'd be easier is you heard it right from me."
"I appreciate that. You only get one phone call? Shouldn't you have called Wren?"
"Wren already knows, baby doll; he was there. He did CPR on me till the ambulance showed up, bless his heart. He tried his best. You know, I just felt something weird and I called his name, and he comes running into the bedroom to check on me, but I was already gone when he got there. When it's your time, I guess it's your time."
"I guess so. What about your mother?"
"Mom's gonna be a mess, I'm sure. You know how she gets. I didn't even want to deal with her and her bullshit. Let somebody else call her."
"I don't want to call her, either. She's never going to forgive you, you know. If she can't forgive you for running away when you were 14 or getting pregnant when you were 17, no way in hell she'll forgive you for dying when you're only 49. Leaving home, getting married, dropping dead -- damnit, Leslie, everything you ever did, you did too young."
"Girl, ain't that the truth?"
"Stop laughing, I'm serious. Oh, hell, laugh all you want. If this is the last time I get to hear from you, I want to remember the sound of you laughing."
"Listen, baby, don't you worry about me. I told you before, I don't want people moping around and bawling over me at a funeral. That's why I'm giving my body to science. I don't want any of that shit."
"It's not your decision, Les. We get to have a memorial service if we want, and I'll cry my eyes out through the whole thing. Look, if you die and everyone laughs and has a party like said you want, it means they all hated your guts and they're glad to see you gone. When people love you, they cry. You cried at your daddy's funeral, and at Papaw's, and you still cried over my mama the last time we talked about her. You can't stop me from crying over you; it's my right."
"Well, you do what you need to do, Nina. I just don't want you going to too much trouble on my account. Tell you what, I got things to do here, so I gotta let you go. You take care of yourself, baby girl. Remember, I'm watchin' out for you. I got your back, Nina."
"Wait, Leslie, I need to tell you something. It's important."
"Sure, but make it quick, Nina. I really gotta go."
"You know all those times you told me that you loved me like a little sister? God, I can't even count how many times you told me that. I always told you I loved you back, but I never said I loved you like a sister.
"Well, I do. My mother mothered you more than your own mother ever did. So much of what I know about my mom, Leslie, I know from the stories you told me about her. I only remember her through the eyes of a child, but you showed me how she would have treated an adult daughter. So we have her in common; we were both mothered by the same mother. This means you are really my big sister, and I love you like one.
"I can't let you leave forever without telling you that."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I can hear her voice with its slow Texas drawl, gravely from years of cigarettes and yelling at her son's doctors and nurses who needed to be taken down a peg.
"Hey girl, it's your cousin Leslie Carol! Listen, you are never going to believe what I did on Sunday. Never in a million years. I can't even believe it myself. Are you ready? I died!"
"No way."
"No, girl, I swear, I did. I didn't plan on it, but boom, it just happened."
"I don't believe you. You can't die; you're too full of piss and vinegar. No one as ornery as you can just up and die."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you? Shit, it took me by surprise, too."
"But you're calling me..."
"Yeah, turns out they let you make a phone call if you want."
"Oh. I see. So heaven is like...jail?"
"Only in this one way, honey."
"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry, Leslie, I'm having a hard time taking this in. I can't really imagine a world without you in it."
"I know, baby girl, I know. I'm having a hard time imagining a world without me in it, too. But you're gonna be all right. I know you can handle this. You're strong, girl, even if you don't know it."
"I gotta take your word for that, because I'm not so sure right now."
"Well, I just thought I'd call you and let you know what was going on with me. I figured it'd be easier is you heard it right from me."
"I appreciate that. You only get one phone call? Shouldn't you have called Wren?"
"Wren already knows, baby doll; he was there. He did CPR on me till the ambulance showed up, bless his heart. He tried his best. You know, I just felt something weird and I called his name, and he comes running into the bedroom to check on me, but I was already gone when he got there. When it's your time, I guess it's your time."
"I guess so. What about your mother?"
"Mom's gonna be a mess, I'm sure. You know how she gets. I didn't even want to deal with her and her bullshit. Let somebody else call her."
"I don't want to call her, either. She's never going to forgive you, you know. If she can't forgive you for running away when you were 14 or getting pregnant when you were 17, no way in hell she'll forgive you for dying when you're only 49. Leaving home, getting married, dropping dead -- damnit, Leslie, everything you ever did, you did too young."
"Girl, ain't that the truth?"
"Stop laughing, I'm serious. Oh, hell, laugh all you want. If this is the last time I get to hear from you, I want to remember the sound of you laughing."
"Listen, baby, don't you worry about me. I told you before, I don't want people moping around and bawling over me at a funeral. That's why I'm giving my body to science. I don't want any of that shit."
"It's not your decision, Les. We get to have a memorial service if we want, and I'll cry my eyes out through the whole thing. Look, if you die and everyone laughs and has a party like said you want, it means they all hated your guts and they're glad to see you gone. When people love you, they cry. You cried at your daddy's funeral, and at Papaw's, and you still cried over my mama the last time we talked about her. You can't stop me from crying over you; it's my right."
"Well, you do what you need to do, Nina. I just don't want you going to too much trouble on my account. Tell you what, I got things to do here, so I gotta let you go. You take care of yourself, baby girl. Remember, I'm watchin' out for you. I got your back, Nina."
"Wait, Leslie, I need to tell you something. It's important."
"Sure, but make it quick, Nina. I really gotta go."
"You know all those times you told me that you loved me like a little sister? God, I can't even count how many times you told me that. I always told you I loved you back, but I never said I loved you like a sister.
"Well, I do. My mother mothered you more than your own mother ever did. So much of what I know about my mom, Leslie, I know from the stories you told me about her. I only remember her through the eyes of a child, but you showed me how she would have treated an adult daughter. So we have her in common; we were both mothered by the same mother. This means you are really my big sister, and I love you like one.
"I can't let you leave forever without telling you that."
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Re: Bravo!
Date: 2007-12-17 03:38 pm (UTC)It's a newborn poem; of course it's red and wrinkled and kind of ugly. In a few rewrites, it will have it's eyes opened and might be a bit prettier. I'll fix the double use of the word expectant, and the title will need to be fixed as well (Titles are hard for me. Remember, my son was known as Baby Boy Erickson for the first 4 days of life, before we saddled him with something strange and unpronounceable just prior to leaving the hospital).