Wednesday - Whose little girl?

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about the photos I saw on my home computer last night that are still haunting me today. Someone in my house visited a website that should not be visited when you have turned off your computer firewall and forgot to turn it back on, and "malware" found its way onto the machine. A scan of the hard drive found 94 infestations of malicious software, most of it categorized as "risk level HIGH." Worms, Trojan horses, rootkits, backdoors, and God only knows what else turned up to work their mischief. Some the programs redirect your browser, so that when you try to go to say the site for, say. the Disney Channel, you wind up on a porn site or a shopping site (it seemed kind of random which one you got). Others load pictures and files onto your machine without your knowledge or consent, so that when you open "New Folder (3)" to see what the heck this is on your desktop, you are exposed to photos of crimes in progress; chilling, sad, sick crimes committed against little girls.

It was a junk hard drive, one used for play and not work. It has been destroyed, physically, because we didn't trust that it could be cleaned. But the images have stayed in my mind, and I can't find a program in the internet or anywhere else to uninstall them. I keep wanting to ask these children, who looked to be between the ages of 8 and 12, so many questions.

Whose little girl are you?

Do you even know that what they are doing to you is wrong?

Are the people who are supposed to love and protect you the ones holding the camera, or maybe standing outside the frame telling you what to do and how to pose? Or were you stolen away by evil men while your parents only hope and pray in vain that you are not being used in the way that they are using you?

Do you know that no child deserves this?

Do you know that most people are not like the ones you are with? That most of us are horrified by the way they treat you? That the thought if it fills us with rage?

Whose little girl are you? I need to know. Because you could be any little girl I pass by on the street, and if you are I want to help you.

Were you ever loved, really loved, the way a child ought to be? Or is this exploitation the closest thing to affection that you have ever known?

Do you know that you should be in school?

Do you know you should be riding a bike and feeling the sunshine on your skin, rather than lying spread-eagle on a bed wearing nothing but the ribbons in your hair while someone takes your picture?

Do you know that when you go to bed at night, you have the right to feel safe and secure? Do you know that your body belongs to you alone, and that no one else should be touching it without your permission?

Whose little girl are you?

You have so many different faces. In some pictures, your face is Asian, in others you look distinctly Eastern European, and in others still you look as American as Apple pie to me. I confess, I didn't look at all them. After seeing a few of the images I felt sick at your situation, and could bear to see no more of it.

Who is that man in some of the photos? The coward who shows his genitals but not his face, because he knows what decent people would do to him if they knew who was? Are you his little girl? Does he tell you that you belong to him?

Because you don't.

In a way, you belong to all of us. You have stolen my heart, and now you are my little girl, if no one else will claim you. I want to help you, whoever and where ever you are.

If only I knew how.


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Comments

[de-wynken.livejournal.com]

I know, that's the consensus we came up with.

the other consensus was that it was wrong to wait for him to get caught if he's an admitted pedophile, fantasizing or not. wrong enough to warrant a hypothetical 'taking care of' if the opportunity ever arose. Besides a buncha guys saying how they'd gut him, I think a good point was made..its up to the parents to protect their kids and not let it happen in the first case. If the parents are the bad guys in the situation, well..that's just shitty luck. Reminds me of a paper I did in high school..it was on Ritualized Sexual Satanic Abuse and MPD Disorders. My stepmonster was a cop and gave me all the police files they had on it to use for case studies (this was the early 90s, right after the big scare about it). Saw some pretty horrid stuff, if only in typewritten police reports. MPD (multiple personality disorders) arose in the victims, because they would develop alter egos to deal with the abuse, and other personalities to deal with 'the real world'. bad stuff :( anyways..

Sometimes the concept of tribal/small village ways is missed..only in a society as large as our current one can someone like that walk around like that.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I think the Ritualized Sexual Satanic Abuse cases were more a matter of mass hysteria than actual abuse. A huge number of patients who visited certain shrinks all came away believing these horrible things had happened to them - yet no physical evidence ever surfaced and no conviction ever held. The victims were the the victims of bad psychology, not ritual abuse. In the end, it didn't matter who victimized them. The false memories created in therapy were ultimately as damaging as any real memories could have been, both to the "abused" and to the lives of the innocents accused of these horrors.

[de-wynken.livejournal.com]

a lot of the cases were real..not the ones that made the media. Most of the real cases are committed by entire families through multiple generations. Hopefully most of that has ended.