Tuesday - Seven years ago
Sep. 4th, 2007 02:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was thinking about the fact that my 7th wedding anniversary is coming up next Sunday. Not that it's a big deal; the 18th anniversary of our first date was this past July, so our dating years still out number our married years by a few. By the time we would have reached the point for the normal 7-year itch, we were still only engaged to be engaged.
I do have some regrets about the wedding we finally had, due to the fact that it was the wedding of Jeff's dreams, not mine. Over the course of 11 years, my dreams evolved. Early on, they were of the big wedding in a big church with lots of cousins and friends pressed into the servitude of being bridesmaids. By my mid twenties, I dreamed of a small chapel wedding with a few close friends and family in attendance. By the time I reached 30, the only thing I wanted my wedding to be was over with.
"What kind of wedding would you like?" Jeff asked me.
"Honestly? Let's go to Vegas. I want do have it in a drive-through chapel, with an Elvis impersonator officiating."
He looked at me like I was insane. "No," was all he said.
"No? Why not?"
"Our families should be there. This is a special occasion."
"I don't get along with my family," I reminded him, "Having them there would ruin it for me."
"It wouldn't be fair to my mom, or to your dad, either, if we didn't invite them."
"I think they'd both be happy that we finally made it legal. I know my dad would be, at least."
"We should have it in a church, something small."
I scowled at him. "Do I have to wear a dress? Or is this something I can do in my jeans?"
"Well, yeah, of course you should wear a dress. Brides wear dresses on their wedding day."
This was the first time I asked Jeff a question that I have since asked dozens of times: "Which one of us is the chick in this relationship, anyway?"
The implied answer to this question is, of course, that it's him. To this day, it seems unfair to me that even though he is the chick in our relationship, I am the one who ended up having to wear a dress and a veil on our wedding day. I am still crying foul on that one.
I came up with what I though would be a nice compromise. "Let's take everyone to dinner and tell them we have a big announcement. At the end of the meal, let's tell them that we're getting married in 15 minutes and that they are welcomed to follow us to meet the preacher. That way, our parents are there, they get to see the show, and the whole thing costs the price of the meal and whatever we have to fork over to the reverend. No muss, no fuss. We can all go out for drinks afterward and even invite the preacher, if he wants to come. It'll be great."
Jeff vetoed me, the way chicks are prone to vetoing the inferior wedding ideas of clueless husbands-to-be.
So we got married in a church, with family and a lot of people from my work who heard I was finally getting married and made me feel guilty enough to put them on the guest list. Jeff invited his whole extended family, but that only amounted to 12 people. I managed to avoid clueing in most of my extending family until after the event, because with close to a dozen aunts and uncles and 16 first cousins (not counting their spouses and offspring), things could have gotten very large very fast, and it was bigger than I wanted without them there. I barely remember anything about the entire day because it was so frazzled and frantic for me, which is surprising considering it was far more low-key than most weddings you see in this day and age.
I've heard that re-commitment ceremonies are big these days, and that people who have been married for years like to go back and throw themselves the wedding they feel like they should have had in the first place. Some day, I'd like to do that. It will be in a tacky white chapel on the Strip, with a man dressed as Elvis after he'd gotten fat and gone to seed, asking us:
"Do you take this woman to love her tender, love her sweet, and never let her go? Do you take this man to be your lovin' Teddy Bear, to put a ring around his finger, and lead him everywhere? Well then, by the power invested in my by the state of Nevada and by the good Lord above, I pronounce you man and wife. Now that's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, kiss your bride and go..."
It will be the wedding of my dreams.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I do have some regrets about the wedding we finally had, due to the fact that it was the wedding of Jeff's dreams, not mine. Over the course of 11 years, my dreams evolved. Early on, they were of the big wedding in a big church with lots of cousins and friends pressed into the servitude of being bridesmaids. By my mid twenties, I dreamed of a small chapel wedding with a few close friends and family in attendance. By the time I reached 30, the only thing I wanted my wedding to be was over with.
"What kind of wedding would you like?" Jeff asked me.
"Honestly? Let's go to Vegas. I want do have it in a drive-through chapel, with an Elvis impersonator officiating."
He looked at me like I was insane. "No," was all he said.
"No? Why not?"
"Our families should be there. This is a special occasion."
"I don't get along with my family," I reminded him, "Having them there would ruin it for me."
"It wouldn't be fair to my mom, or to your dad, either, if we didn't invite them."
"I think they'd both be happy that we finally made it legal. I know my dad would be, at least."
"We should have it in a church, something small."
I scowled at him. "Do I have to wear a dress? Or is this something I can do in my jeans?"
"Well, yeah, of course you should wear a dress. Brides wear dresses on their wedding day."
This was the first time I asked Jeff a question that I have since asked dozens of times: "Which one of us is the chick in this relationship, anyway?"
The implied answer to this question is, of course, that it's him. To this day, it seems unfair to me that even though he is the chick in our relationship, I am the one who ended up having to wear a dress and a veil on our wedding day. I am still crying foul on that one.
I came up with what I though would be a nice compromise. "Let's take everyone to dinner and tell them we have a big announcement. At the end of the meal, let's tell them that we're getting married in 15 minutes and that they are welcomed to follow us to meet the preacher. That way, our parents are there, they get to see the show, and the whole thing costs the price of the meal and whatever we have to fork over to the reverend. No muss, no fuss. We can all go out for drinks afterward and even invite the preacher, if he wants to come. It'll be great."
Jeff vetoed me, the way chicks are prone to vetoing the inferior wedding ideas of clueless husbands-to-be.
So we got married in a church, with family and a lot of people from my work who heard I was finally getting married and made me feel guilty enough to put them on the guest list. Jeff invited his whole extended family, but that only amounted to 12 people. I managed to avoid clueing in most of my extending family until after the event, because with close to a dozen aunts and uncles and 16 first cousins (not counting their spouses and offspring), things could have gotten very large very fast, and it was bigger than I wanted without them there. I barely remember anything about the entire day because it was so frazzled and frantic for me, which is surprising considering it was far more low-key than most weddings you see in this day and age.
I've heard that re-commitment ceremonies are big these days, and that people who have been married for years like to go back and throw themselves the wedding they feel like they should have had in the first place. Some day, I'd like to do that. It will be in a tacky white chapel on the Strip, with a man dressed as Elvis after he'd gotten fat and gone to seed, asking us:
"Do you take this woman to love her tender, love her sweet, and never let her go? Do you take this man to be your lovin' Teddy Bear, to put a ring around his finger, and lead him everywhere? Well then, by the power invested in my by the state of Nevada and by the good Lord above, I pronounce you man and wife. Now that's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, kiss your bride and go..."
It will be the wedding of my dreams.
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Date: 2007-09-04 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 07:38 pm (UTC)I'd be more upset about being the one who had to carry around an 8 pound bowling ball inside my tummy and then push it out of a fairly small oriface.
But, that's just me.
It will be in a tacky white chapel on the Strip, with a man dressed as Elvis after he'd gotten fat and gone to seed
Sounds fair. It's what you had wanted in the first place anyway and you can quote me on it to Jeff.
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Date: 2007-09-04 07:42 pm (UTC)What can I say about Jeff? He's full of romantic, girlie ideas. Chicks are like that.
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Date: 2007-09-04 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 08:34 pm (UTC)I feel the same way about my wedding - it was mildly frazzling for a low-key thing. Drank too much wine and spent part of it really buzzed and giggly. I don't regret having a ceremony or getting married one bit, though. :-)
Colby and I think we'll renew our vows for our 10-year anniversary in a warm, sunny place.
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Date: 2007-09-05 06:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 10:01 pm (UTC)One of my friends and her husband want to renew their vows at the Star Trek museum and dress up as characters. I think it fits them well. :-)
wedding of my dreams.
Date: 2007-09-04 08:35 pm (UTC)Re: wedding of my dreams.
Date: 2007-09-05 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-06 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-04 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-05 02:22 pm (UTC)