Monday - Life Lessons from a Tube of Butt Paste

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about the story my son made up about the baby featured on his tube of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste* diaper ointment. According to my son, this baby has a mother and a father, but only the father loves him, and he only loves his father. His mother is a cold-hearted bitch who only loves her pets, and neither the baby nor the daddy lover her, either.

"Look," my son told me, pointing to the tube, "a baby!"

"Why yes, that is a baby," I agreed. "What does the baby have?"

"A bwanket," my son said.

"Uh-huh, a blue blanket. What else does he have?"

"Bwocks!"

I looked at the tube. "Yep, he has blocks. How many blocks does he have?"

"One...two...tree. Tree bwocks."

"What else can you tell me about the baby?"

"He's neckid!"

I smiled. This is not a toddler-mispronunciation of the work "naked;" this is the correct pronunciation when you are speaking with a Texas drawl. I am kind of pleased that my son has picked this up, but his father – who is from Washington State - always tries to correct him, by stressing, "NAKE-ed, NAKE-ed," which our son dutifully repeats back as "Neckid!"

"Yes, he is. His mommy should put some clothes on him so he doesn't get cold." Then, I ventured into dangerous territory by asking, "Do you think his mommy loves him?"

"No." My son shook his head.

"His mommy doesn't love him? Poor baby! Who do you think his mommy loves?"

"She lubs…her buppy dogs."

"She loves puppy dogs but not her baby? How sad! Does the baby love his mommy?"

"No."

"Then who does the baby love?"

"He lubs his daddy!"

"Does his daddy love him?"

"Yes."

"Does his daddy love his mommy?"

"No, his daddy lubs the baby."

"But not the mommy?"

"No."

"Only the puppy dogs love the mommy?"

"Yes."

I thought about this for a moment.

"I'll bet the mommy love the baby, anyway – even if he doesn't love her back."

My son acting disinterested. Who cares who the mommy loves? What matters is that the baby and the daddy have each other.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
When I told Jeff about our conversation, he tried to make me feel better by pointing out that when our son is with him and I'm not around, our son asks where I am. It's only because Jeff is almost never around that our son worships the ground he walks on.

"He loves you, but since he sees you every day, he can take you for granted," Jeff said.

"It didn't hurt my feelings," I replied. "This wasn't a story about us, per se. This was about the Boudreaux's Butt Paste baby. His mother is nothing like me. For one thing, she has more than one dog."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Love is a funny thing. Children who are loved and well cared for take their parent's love for granted, because it's something they've never lived without. The fact that my son can take my love for granted is a compliment, in a way. Since our son doesn't see Jeff except for twice a week, it is his father's love that he craves. He can be casual about my love, because it's always there. Jeff's love, which he can only bask in for two days at a time, shines like the sun for him. My ever-present love, on the other hand, is invisible. I take comfort when I look at the situation from this angle, and in knowing that at least the dog loves me.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~


* Trust me, once you stop laughing at the name you realize that it's the best diaper ointment on the planet. It's also good for treating dry skin, in general. Keep a tube around the house, even if you don't have a kid.

Comments

the dog loves me.

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

unless you run out of doggy treats,..o.0

Re: the dog loves me.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Nah, dog love is more loyal than that. They give you the sad eyes, and you find an alternative treat or scratch their head. Dog love 100 times more reliable than human love. The only drawback is that they are lousy conversationalists. On the other hand, they are great listeners.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA :D

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I'm changing my name to Mommy Dangerfield. I tell ya, I get no respect! ;P

I'm partial to Balmex myself

[lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com]

For one thing, she has more than one dog

You almost made me spit Diet Coke on my work monitor. That would've been bad! I'd have to explain that I was laughing at something that I wasn't supposed to be reading during work hours.

And how do you explain that my son loves his daddy more when he's with daddy more than he's with me? Granted, it's only by about an hour, but still.

But "Butt Paste" is more fun to say

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I can only analyze my own son's affections.

In general, I think some little boys are more interested in their fathers because they are male, and there is a instinct instict that tells the kid that this is who he wants to be like. Also, women (even strangers he meets on the street) fuss over babies all the time. A man who fusses over him is more of a novelty.

Then there is the fact you and I are chopped liver. That could have a lot to do with it. :P

Re: I will agree it's more fun to say. It makes me smile when I hear it

[lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com]

Well, that's the last time I let another human being inhabit my uterus... sheesh. To be treated this way after incubating for 10 months. You'd think he'd be a bit more greatful for life. Sheesh.

Re: I will agree it's more fun to say. It makes me smile when I hear it

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

You'd think, they are still more instinct than thought at this point, and instinctively they perceive that their dads are cooler than us. When they get old enough to think, we can drag them along on guilt trips about this.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I'm only going to let my feeling be hurt so much by a toddler.

I guess I'm more tough-skinned than some people. For me to get offended, someone has to mean to be offensive. For the things that people say carelessly or the actions of children, I tend toward just being amused. I guess I'd just rather laugh than cry about this kind of stuff.

[sm00bs.livejournal.com]

I love Boudreaux's Butt Paste! We have recently been using Alba's non-petroleum jelly, whatever it's called. I love that as well.

It's interesting that you posted this since I just read about Butt Paste the other day.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Wow, Butt Paste all is over the place! (which is not near as gross as it sounds)

[sm00bs.livejournal.com]

Not gross, but certainly funny! :)

[jessnhalinda.livejournal.com]

I can't remember which comedian it was that did a bit about the word naked that went something like: "Naked means you're not wearing any clothes. Neckid means you're not wearing any clothes and you're up to something."

I tend to suspect children of always being up to something, but that's just because I remember being a kid so clearly :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Probably Jeff Foxworthy said it. I guess in Texas, we assume that if you have no clothes on, you're probaby up to something. No one is ever simply naked - they're always neckid. Stark neckid, butt neckid, neckid as a jay bird; they're all the same down here.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

You read my mind! I think that goes for anywhere in the South. Them heathens up North (not to mention the kooks out West) may run around with no clothes on, flashing paparazzi, but down here, our sweet young thangs keep their clothes on. Of course, "clothes" is a relative term when it comes to trends like "Daisy-Dukes!" :D

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

It's a real product, I promise, made in the great state of Louisina. After Hurricane Katrina, the stores didn't get any shipments for a few weeks and I started to panick. It's a wonder paste.

I'm dissappointed that the website doesn't tell the story behind the name. From the story in the Houston Chronicle where I first read about the stuff some years ago:

Butt paste creator George Boudreaux of Covington, La., said he receives phone calls and e-mails from customers every day. The 56-year-old knows the name attracts attention, but he said the product's quality keeps customers loyal.

The over-the-counter balm is approved for treating diaper rash and as a skin protectant, but Boudreaux said people have also effectively used it for acne, razor burn, bedsores, chicken pox, poison ivy, chapped lips, hemorrhoids and skin irritations, among other ailments.

Boudreaux believes the key ingredient is Peruvian balsam, which increases blood flow to wounds.

Boudreaux, a former pharmacist in Covington, first came across the paste while working with Louisiana physician Pappy Talbot. Boudreaux worked up the paste according to Talbot's instructions. After the doctor's death, Boudreaux continued to compound it.

In about 1985, a Louisiana pediatrician called Boudreaux laughing. A woman had just come in and wanted "Some of George Boudreaux's butt paste." The name stuck.

[jenelycam.livejournal.com]

I love the theories and stories your son comes up with!!!

I think I've seen that stuff in the stores around here too. My kids laugh at the name. Anything with the word "butt" in it is sure to make Elycia crack up.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

The name cracks me up, too. I first read about it in 2003 when the newspaper featured a story about it (see my comment to ockhams_shotgun for an excerpt of the story that tells where the name came from), and I bought some even though I didn't have a baby then and had no plans for one. I just liked the name because it was so funny. ^_^

[basketcaselady.livejournal.com]

Both of my kids wanted to marry their dad when they grew. I have a boy and a girl ;) Even when they were teenagers, if their dad and I had a fight, they would jump in and say, *I'm going to live with dad.* Sorry to disappoint but we never gave them that chance :) lol

But now that they are grown and live on their own, one is even married, WHO do they call when they want to talk? Who do they email? Who do they take out for lunch? Me :))

*Dances around*

It was a long time coming but soooo worth it!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I can only hope that some day this will be the case for me, too. For the time being, I'm the stand-in parent he has to deal with when his father isn't around. *sighs*

[l-l-u-w-d.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean, when you expound upon this subject. As the wife of a Marine, who is almost always gone by the time the kids are up in the morning during the week, and who often comes home after they are in bed, and who is gone completely at any particular given point in time, the children of course crave and wish to monopolize the little bit of time they have with Daddy. They want Daddy for this, and that, and I'm just a pretty accessory to have around to wait upon them when Daddy is at home. They want his kisses, and hugs, and squeezes, and for him to fix their booboos, and all that stuff. They will snuggle and cuddle with him for hours on end, but I have to beg, bribe, and cajole just to get a kiss.

I so totally feel your pain, but, yes, I love them all the same. All three of them, the kids AND their Daddy, no matter how extraneous I may be when he /is/ home.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Mom's are the bread and butter that sustain them from day to day; Dad's are cake in ice cream in their eyes. Who doesn't love cake and ice cream more that bread and butter?

[sidneymintz.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize you were on your own so much with your lil guy. Makes me feel better about my own situation too.

I'm going to pick up some of the Butt Paste. We have a teething rash that won't quit.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I feel like a single parent with a double income. I love the Butt Paste; it's amazing stuff.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

A "teething rash?" Please describe! I think my 6-mo-old is going through that!

I rubbed him down a few times with Aloe Gel from Fruit of the Earth and it cleared up, but even the Doc wasn't sure what caused it.

[sidneymintz.livejournal.com]

Cuz they drool so much and swallow it, so their poops are watery and possible acidic. I use Burt's Bees and some kinda goat milk cream, but it's not clearing up. In fact, it just seems to move around!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

When my son gets a rash, the BBP clears it up within 24 hours, and usually overnight. It's awesome stuff.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

Ah, well, this was all over his body, but the Aloe cleared it up PDQ.

[callmekili.livejournal.com]

Children who are loved and well cared for take their parent's love for granted, because it's something they've never lived without. The fact that my son can take my love for granted is a compliment, in a way.

i love these lines

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

^_^ Thanks.