Monday – Fabulous Footwear
Aug. 6th, 2007 04:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermoreToday on my drive into work, I was thinking about how my world is about to dissolve into chaos. I was thinking of the tears and outrage I am soon destined to face, and how helpless I will be before them. I was thinking about the broken heart I won't be able to heal, and the anguish I won't be able to sooth. I was thinking about the upcoming days and nights of grief and torment my entire household will soon contend with. I know these things are coming, and I am helpless to stop they. You see, my 2-year-old son is about to outgrow his beloved Elmo sandals, and I have not been able to find a replacement pair.
It's all my fault, really. My son will believe this, so I may as well own up to it. I bought the sandals on sale in the first place. In fact, it's the only reason I bough that particular pair of sandals. Before I had resisted buying him anything with any kind of licensed characters on them. But as the weather grew warm this spring, I figured he needed sandals, and these were 30% off, which meant that were already being discontinued. My son liked Elmo, but not any more than he liked any other cartoon or television character. They seemed like an innocuous purchase.
Boy was I ever wrong. My son has worn them, and only them, every day since I brought them home. He would prefer to wear them all the time. He protests when I take them off so he can take a bath, and he asks if he can put them back on before he goes to bed.
"My Melmo sun-dals," he says every morning. He is in love with this pair of sandals. They are his sun and his evening star. I've tried putting other shoes on his feet, and he reacts as if I were putting hot irons on him. He cries, he screams, he frantically kicks and tears at the offending footwear until they come off. He turns bright red – as red as the picture of Elmo on the side of his shoes. I'm sure the neighbors down the block can hear his ragged sobs, and are convinced that I am beating him within an inch of his life. It's only a matter of time before the police show up at my door to investigate reports that a child is being murdered or possibly strung up on a rack. How can I expect them to believe that my only act of cruelty was slipping a pair of Thomas The Tank Engine shoes on my sleeping son's feet, hoping he would wake up and be enchanted enough by them that he would forget about his Elmo sandals, and that the experiment did not go as planned? That instead of waking up enchanted, he woke up outraged?
His toes are almost to the point that they are hanging over the edge of the sandals. Only by the virtue of Velcro have I been able to loosen the straps enough to accommodate the girth of his growing feet, but I can't do anything about the soles that get smaller and smaller beneath him each day. I've been to every store I can think of. I've searched the Internet. It's hopeless – there are no more Elmo sandals to be found, at least not in the size that I need. The day that the sandals fall apart or simply will no longer stretch over his feet is coming, a sort of Elmo Armageddon looming in our future. I will lose the love of my only son, and he will lose the only shoes he's ever loved.
I have no choice but to face the music, and the music I will be facing has these lyrics:
La la, la la! La la, la la! Elmo's world!
La la, la la! La la, la la! Elmo's world!
Elmo loves his goldfish!
His crayons, too!
Thaaaaaaaat's Elllllllmoooooo's world!
It's a melody that chills me to the bone.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
It's all my fault, really. My son will believe this, so I may as well own up to it. I bought the sandals on sale in the first place. In fact, it's the only reason I bough that particular pair of sandals. Before I had resisted buying him anything with any kind of licensed characters on them. But as the weather grew warm this spring, I figured he needed sandals, and these were 30% off, which meant that were already being discontinued. My son liked Elmo, but not any more than he liked any other cartoon or television character. They seemed like an innocuous purchase.
Boy was I ever wrong. My son has worn them, and only them, every day since I brought them home. He would prefer to wear them all the time. He protests when I take them off so he can take a bath, and he asks if he can put them back on before he goes to bed.
"My Melmo sun-dals," he says every morning. He is in love with this pair of sandals. They are his sun and his evening star. I've tried putting other shoes on his feet, and he reacts as if I were putting hot irons on him. He cries, he screams, he frantically kicks and tears at the offending footwear until they come off. He turns bright red – as red as the picture of Elmo on the side of his shoes. I'm sure the neighbors down the block can hear his ragged sobs, and are convinced that I am beating him within an inch of his life. It's only a matter of time before the police show up at my door to investigate reports that a child is being murdered or possibly strung up on a rack. How can I expect them to believe that my only act of cruelty was slipping a pair of Thomas The Tank Engine shoes on my sleeping son's feet, hoping he would wake up and be enchanted enough by them that he would forget about his Elmo sandals, and that the experiment did not go as planned? That instead of waking up enchanted, he woke up outraged?
His toes are almost to the point that they are hanging over the edge of the sandals. Only by the virtue of Velcro have I been able to loosen the straps enough to accommodate the girth of his growing feet, but I can't do anything about the soles that get smaller and smaller beneath him each day. I've been to every store I can think of. I've searched the Internet. It's hopeless – there are no more Elmo sandals to be found, at least not in the size that I need. The day that the sandals fall apart or simply will no longer stretch over his feet is coming, a sort of Elmo Armageddon looming in our future. I will lose the love of my only son, and he will lose the only shoes he's ever loved.
I have no choice but to face the music, and the music I will be facing has these lyrics:
La la, la la! La la, la la! Elmo's world!
La la, la la! La la, la la! Elmo's world!
Elmo loves his goldfish!
His crayons, too!
Thaaaaaaaat's Elllllllmoooooo's world!
It's a melody that chills me to the bone.
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no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 10:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 10:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-06 10:34 pm (UTC)He was heartbroken
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 02:10 pm (UTC)You must spend a fortune at the grocery store. It takes a lot of food to fuel that kind of growth!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 12:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:54 pm (UTC)But now they have sizes 8 and 9, as well. Oh joy! I've bought these sandals in the next 3 sizes. You've saved my life, my sanity, and my relationship with my son!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-09 11:45 am (UTC)Elmo Armageddon
Date: 2007-08-07 12:32 am (UTC)(that's what my grandfather told me when he tossed my piss soaked bimbo bear into the wood stove,..)
Re: Elmo Armageddon
Date: 2007-08-07 02:01 pm (UTC)Besides, contentment builds peace and quiet, and peace and quiet are what I'm really after. I'll work on building his character when he's older, right after we finish potty training.
a 2 year old
Date: 2007-08-07 02:17 pm (UTC)Fate has a way
Date: 2007-08-07 01:18 am (UTC)Binkies, Blankies, and Other Transitional Objects
The bonds a baby develops with his lovey run deep -- and that's a good thing. (Just make sure you have a spare!)
While not every baby develops a devoted attachment to a blanket, teddy bear, or other security object, many (about 60 percent) do adopt a lovey at about nine months of age. There's a lot going on in your baby's brain right now: She's learning that she's her own person (separate from you) and that you're not always available for cuddle sessions. To help her deal with these Big Thoughts, a small, snuggly object sometimes comes in handy (although kids have been known to embrace everything from pacifiers to cloth diapers to T-shirts to empty plastic bottles — it's hard to say what will appeal). Whatever she chooses, known as a "transitional object" serves as a kind of substitute mommy when you're not around and is especially desirable when your baby is feeling sleepy, sick, or anxious. She'll probably want to keep it until she's somewhere between two and five years old, but giving it up may be a tough transition, too. Sometimes losing the lovey (or having it finally disintegrate into a pile of thread or puff of cotton) is the moment of truth — your child may have a sad couple of days while she mourns the passing of her old buddy.
But there are ways to prepare her now for that inevitable day and to keep Blankie's presence from overruling your household:
* Set lovey limits. Reserve it for use only at home and/or at bedtime. (This is easier to do if the attachment is new.)
* Keep it clean. Again easier to do if you start from the early stages of your baby's devotion: Wash the object often, before she becomes just as attached to its smell as she is to its sight and feel.
* Save a spare. Invest in a duplicate lovey to keep in reserve; swap it for the original whenever you need to wash one so that they wear evenly. Plus, now you have a backup in case the unthinkable happens.
Re: Fate has a way
Date: 2007-08-07 01:58 pm (UTC)Besides, the sandals aren't his lovey, that would be his pacifiers - he can fit 3 of them in his mouth at the same time.
Re: Fate has a way
Date: 2007-08-13 07:07 pm (UTC)*giggles*
now thats talent
although i have no children at the moment *knocks on wood* but i am sure that looking back at some of these stories i will be able to shake my head and realize nina wasnt so crazy after all :)..heheheh
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:49 am (UTC)Boy Son loved those boots and wore them every day, even took his naps in them. He wore them till the heels fell off. I took them to a cobler and for $4 ($25 years ago) he put new heels on them. Boy son played in those for 2 years. I had them resoled once and reheeled 2 or 3 times.
The commotion when those finally died was substantial. Nothing would placate him so I ended up just holding him while he cried till he got bored with being held. Then he hopped down to go play seemingly forgetting about his red cowboy boots.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 06:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 06:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-07 06:54 pm (UTC)I don't envy you the task of replacing the sandals...
no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:44 pm (UTC)I hate everything Elmo related!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-08 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-13 07:10 pm (UTC)like in elementary or middle school i went an entire school year wearing nothing but shorts because i was boycotting against my mother who had taken away my FAVORITE pair of overalls.... she thought they were too big and didnt want me wearing them anymore, although they were the most comfortable pairs of jeans i owned....
one whole year, i wore nothing but shorts... she even tried to make me wear leg warmers to the bus stop in the mornings it snowed or was cold but as soon as i left the driveway, they went into my bookbag....
the things we think we cant live without!!!
Re: Fate has a way
Date: 2007-08-15 01:57 pm (UTC)