Friday - Accidental Salvation

[ninanevermore]

Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about how I miss working with my old friends, Melanie and Astro Joe. While there are some advantages to working for a big company, it lacks the intimacy and closeness of being part of a small company. Not to mention that my lack of importance is truly humbling. In my old job, if I got sick and decided to stay home, it meant that an epidemic had knocked out 25% of the workforce of our Houston office. It was the closest thing to being powerful that I have ever achieved. In this job, it means that a corner cubicle on the 8th floor is empty, if someone bothers to look over the wall and notice.

In my old job, I was friends with everyone in the whole company. In this job, I can say I've met a few of them. It's just not the same.

Not only was I friends with them, I even saved Astro Joe's immortal soul one day, but it was an accident. I was only trying to give him a hard time. You see, Astro Joe is the most Catholic of all the Catholics I know. He doesn't just say he's Catholic, he goes to Mass every week and everything. Sometimes the rest of us would ask him questions about all that Catholic stuff, because it all seemed very mysterious and interesting. Take the whole Hail Mary thing, for example. What exactly does it mean when you have are sentenced to say three Hail Maries for some infraction?

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women...," Astro Joe told us helpfully. Actually, he said a lot more than that, but for the two lapsed Protestants and the one just-starting-to-go-to-church-again-after-a-20-year absence Protestant in the room, that alone was enough to make our eyes glaze over. None of us believed that this would be on our Final Exam, but we all thought it was really neat that Joe knew it, since he believes it will be on his.

The day I saved Joe's soul was last December 8th, which was the official Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Every morning at my last job, I would send out an activity report for the following day's business. Because activity reports are boring, I also included in the email, as an enticement to open it up, a daily horoscope and a list of trivia. That day, one of the trivia items I sent out was that it just so happened to be the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

"Hey, Joe," I said with mock horror, "Aren't you supposed to be in church or something?"

"Oh, crap!" said Joe. It turned out he really was. He went on line and found a nearby Catholic church that was holding a mid-day service, and prepared to head out the door to spend his lunch hour there. If he went during the day, he would still be able to catch all his TV shows that night and not have to record them.

"Thanks," he said as he was leaving, "You saved my soul!"

This was a first-time accomplishment for me, and I was impressed with myself.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

I thought about this for a second.

"In that case, I want props. When you get up to see the Man Upstairs, you remind him of this. I'm not nearly as nice of a person as you are, Joe, and I'm going to need all the help I can get."

Joe grinned. "You got it!" he said, and he was gone.

Now, I don't know if this counts as an actual soul-saving credit, since it was completely unintentional. I figure, though, that it has to count for something. After all, if I can get a ticket for driving 40 miles per hour in a 30 mile per hour zone because I didn't notice the sign saying the speed limit had been reduced, and that ticket counts against my driving record, then I should get credit for saving a soul that I had no inkling was in any actual peril. Fair is fair, and The Good Lord should recognize that.

Hopefully, Joe will argue my case for me when the time comes.



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Comments

argue my case

[regatomic.livejournal.com]

heh better then than now,..,..o.o

Re: argue my case

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Later is always better than sooner, in cases like this. ;D

[broken-alice.livejournal.com]

I'd say you did a pretty good job with the saving. Those two extra Holy Days of Obligation are kinda hard to remember (the other being August 15th - the Asumption of Mary into Heaven.)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

That is a lot to keep up with. Poor Joe.

Since he and I no longer work together, I guess I'll have to email him next December 8th to remind him. He's on his own in August, though. As a Protestant, keeping track of the Immaculate Conception thing for him is going above and beyond the call of duty for me. He's in charge of his own Assumption. ;D

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's a wonderfum memory :D

Thanks for sharing!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I honestly think I was just picking on him. In my own religious tradition, skipping church isn't a sin so much as it bad form and a sign that you stayed up too late the night before and are too lazy or hungover to get out of bed. Every other Catholic friend I've ever had, besides than Joe, skipped Mass all the time. I suppose they had to do a few more rosaries and Hail Maries to make up for it, but I never asked them.

But if looking at it your way gets me the extra credit, I'm game. ^_^