Monday – Chuck E. Cheese? This is an emergency!

[ninanevermore]

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Sweet Pea is turning 6 in a couple of weeks. He wants a party. After all, all kids get parties when they have a birthday. Because all kids' moms know how to throw them.

Except for my son's mom. I am the exception to the rule.

I blame my own mother. She did not believe in big blowout parties for children. She was a child of the Great Depression, and had no use for excess of any kind, having grown up without it. It was my curse to be born as her mid-life accident. All of my friends had baby-boomer parents, and baby boomers were into excess, big time. Baby boomer parents had never gone to bed hungry and never had a Christmas where their parents were so poor that the kids were lucky if they got hard candy in their stocking, much less toys of any kind. My parents grew up going without. Knowing from experience that a kid can survive without a lot of fuss around a birthday, they didn't bother. We only got a little fuss, which was probably more than they'd gotten as kids.

The only kid I knew who had birthdays more non-eventful than the ones in my house was the little Jehovah's Witness girl down the street, whose parents believed that birthdays were sinful. To make up for it, she got presents and cards and all kinds of attention whenever she got sick, which seemed to me like a good way to turn a kid into a hypochondriac, but that's another subject entirely.

My husband and I have always celebrated birthdays the way my own family did: a family dinner, followed by cake, and a few gifts. Usually, there were grandparents involved, but that was the extent of the party guests. In other words, my small son has gotten royally screwed every year on his birthday. He has set out to change this.

"I want a party with other kids," he told me the other day.

"Other kids? A party?" I was dismayed. Of course he would want this. He's a kid. This is what kids want.

"Yes."

For any other child, this is would not be an unreasonable request. Like me, though, my son is a middle-aged accident. Jeff and I don't get out much and don't have a much of a circle of friends. In other words I don't know any other kids, at least not local ones. I've got cousins with kids, but none of them live close by.

Oh, my.

It would help if I had attended more of my cousin's kid's birthdays, but on most of those occasions I have not wanted to make the drive. They are in no debt to me in this regard. $#%! Maybe, I figured, I could appeal to their sense pity. If it works, I will be in debt to them and be making a lot more trips out of town.

I logged onto the Chuck E. Cheese website, where it turns out you can book a party on line without having to interact with an annoying location manager or ditzy teen-aged girl who thought a job at the Chuckter's would be more fun than at a burger joint, and less likely to cause acne. Sweet. A better mother would have known this before her child was anywhere near the age of 6.

I registered for 6 kids and 12 adults. That's not a lot, but I figured I would aim low so as not to junk myself. I can always add or delete from the list as the day nears.

Then I sent out Evites to every I knew with a child and an email address, with this pathetic message, hoping to drum up some pity:

Sweet Pea is Turning 6!

Instead of spending is birthday with his reclusive parents, he has requested a "party, with other kids."

I have no idea how to even do that. So I called my friend Chuck E. Cheese, who is supposed to be an expert at this kind of thing.

I'll probably still mess this up, but I'm at least trying.

There will be pizza. And cake. And games, which will probably be a lot more enjoyable than the pizza.

Please RSVP so I know if I will need more (or less) pizza.

I know some people with kids with email addresses I don't know, too. I will mail invitations to them.

Six kids. I just need to round up six kids. Only 6. How hard could this be? There are kids wherever you look. I thought of his former babysitter. She has 2 daughters.

"What about Miss Kris and Karly and Madison?"

"Miss Kris can come, but I don't like Karly and Madison. They're too bossy."

"I think if Miss Kris comes, she is going to want to bring Karly and Madison."

"Okay, but sometimes she leaves them at home," he said hopefully, "She says they aren't as good as I am at stores."

I thought of the discipline reports his teachers have been sending home from school. They would be surprised, no doubt, to hear that Sweet Pea is the well behaved, good child in public places. Just not at school.

Speaking of school, his classmates from school are not an option for this event: Sweet Pea has not learned the name of a single child at his school. I know this is not normal and the Team Meeting is next Monday (for which parents-in-the-know have given me advice ranging from "Stay positive and just see what they have to say" to "Don't let the bastards see you cry") to discuss this and other concerns.

Whatever the diagnosis turns out to be, Sweet Pea is normal enough to want a party with other kids. So now I have to figure out how to make that happen. The lady who owns the book store I frequent has 3 kids, I think. I don't know their ages. I wonder if they are young enough to like Chuck E. Cheese?

It wouldn't hurt to ask, I suppose.


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Comments

[writingmoments.livejournal.com]

Good luck!

I just warn you, OUR Chuck E. Cheese gives ME sensory overload. I have thrown parties but I have refused to give one there.

Hopefully yours isn't as crowded:)

Good luck!

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

I got sensory overload at Chuck E Cheese in Albuquerque.
I can handle working at a rowdy bar on quarter beer night, but Chuck is too much for me. Flashing lights, loud noises, screaming kids.

[writingmoments.livejournal.com]

You're right, its the combination of flashing lights AND noise.

[writingmoments.livejournal.com]

I recommend you "test drive" the place (you may have already) at a similar time to the party. Maybe as long as he knows what to expect, it might work better.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

He's been to CEC before and likes it. He keeps asking to go back. We went there on his birthday last year, but it was on a weekday (not too crowded) with just us and his grandparents. As long as he has a "safe" adult by his side, he should be okay.

The one we are going to is kind of an older one. It's not as large or as crowded as some of the newer ones. Hopefully it won't be too bad.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

He's familiar with the one we are going to, and keeps begging to go back to it. I'm hopeful it won't be too bad.

And if it is, perhaps that will help me talk him out of this same thing NEXT years.

[writingmoments.livejournal.com]

I shouldn't question you, you know your own child:)

Good luck with rustling up some kids. We didn't give parties last year. Trying to get kids to come can be SO annoying. But hopefully, you will get so many you have to increase the number of kids.

I really hope he enjoys his first party. How exciting for all you:)

[suspiria.livejournal.com]

I grew up with birthdays that were pretty low key (especially after my parents got divorced), so I'm much more comfortable with dinner and a few gifts. My husband's ex, however, is of the believe that a child should have a MASSIVE blowout party every. single. year. At some point we agreed to facilitate the party for my step-son every other year, and it's exhausting (and expensive, dang it!). We just had the last one in June, and I'm already dreading our next one two years from now. I'm hoping at that point we can just dump him and a couple of friends a Disneyland and let them go.

I hope Sweet Pea's sixth goes well. Chuck E. Cheese is a safe bet. Anything where someone else has to do the cleanup is good. =)

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

If he has been there before, it won't be a problem. I had never been there before, so I was not prepared.

[inever.livejournal.com]

I always get a class list sent home or emailed from Mini's school. Can you ask the teacher?

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

That's what I'm hoping. And even if no one shows up, I can say I tried and he will still get to say he had his birthday at the Chucksters. :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

He is the out of control child in the class; I'm not sure the other parents would want their kids to come to his birthday party. :(

I was going to ask for a picture of the kids at his table and a list of their first names when we go to the meeting next week. I think learning to associate the names with the faces in a safe environment (home) might help him learn them, and once he learns who is who school will be seen a safer place instead of a sea of stranger.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

We've been before on several occasions and didn't have a meltdown, probably because while there is a lot of noise and people, no one is asking him to DO anything he doesn't want to do. I think as long as he has Jeff, me, or one of this grandparents to act as an "anchor" he should be all right. He happens to love that place.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

He may be cranky by the time we leave, but for all the noise and people no one will be asking him to stand in line or sit still or do things he finds stressful. It's the cumulative effect of outside stresses plus inside stress that sends him off the deep end.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

**I** was cranky by the time I left. My kids were fine.

[skeletaltime.livejournal.com]

I always had a hard time with birthdays as a child - my birthday falls during the spring break vacation that my school district had scheduled every single year.

I did have one very memorable childhood birthday, it was when I turned 5 and my parents threw me a surprise party. That one turned out really well, but I dont recall a lot of my classmates being there, mostly neighborhood kids and my cousins.

[noblwish.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest letting him hand out invitations to his classmates. Kids will do ANYTHING to go to Chuck E.'s!!!

[ithoughtsheknew.livejournal.com]

We didn't do parties when I was growing up either. It all had to do with money and the fact that my parents were pretty reclusive. Us? Well, it's a blow out with Sarah's church friends and homeschool buddies. One year we had more than 60 people over...the church youth group provided the entertainment for her 4th or 5th bday party. This past year we had an 18 ft. waterslide and about 40 guests. It's stressful but always so much fun once our church friends, family and homeschool buddies arrive. :)
Good luck and have fun. :) I hope it's memorable in the best way possible.

[sidneymintz.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem with you, and I'm dreading end of April, when B will expect a bday party. Last year I managed to avoid doing anything big, and for months he asked why.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Mine is in the summer. Talk about a non event!

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

He doesn't know their names. Who do I address them to, "Random Kindergartner???"

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

I hope I can pull it off and not have the whole thing blow up in my face. That's all I'm asking. And that another child shows up.

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should tell the truth. "Mommy doesn't know any people, honey. You can have a big blowout every year once you grow up and move out on your own."

[basketcaselady.livejournal.com]

Or "You can have a birthday party with other kids when you stop biting them." Incentive is always helpful :)

[neanahe.livejournal.com]

At the rate things are going, we'd still be waiting years for it to happen.