Feb. 2nd, 2009

ninanevermore: (Motherhood)
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Today on my drive into work, I was thinking about how my heart skips a beat whenever my son seems to be drinking a lot of water or eating a lot, both of which he tends to do when he is about to go through a growth spurt. I find myself looking at him closely, making sure he's not losing weight, and going so far as to smell his breath.

His breath always smells normal. I've never smelled the scent I am looking for, that of ketones created when the body starts breaking down fat for energy. I remember my mother's description of how my breath smells when I was 8 years old: fruity and sweet, like I'd been drinking cheap wine. It doesn't sound like an unpleasant odor, but I live in fear of it.

Guilt in my DNA )

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ninanevermore

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