Thursday – Middle-Aged Babe In The Woods
Apr. 29th, 2010 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
.
Lately it’s occurred to me that my life feels like I am lost in the woods and that I seem to be walking in circles and running into the same landmarks over and over again.
Take my job, for example. Not only do I work with two guys (Frank and Dave) who have the same first names as the two guys I dated before I met my husband, but in the office around the corner from me there is a guy from New York named Mike, just like there was a guy from New York named Mike in the office across from me at Big Death. Frank just hired a new guy to work with Dave, an intense semi-obsessive guy named Ron, like my intense, semi-obsessive kid brother who is also named Ron. The landmarks I recognize from my days at the tech company are the guy named Joe in the front office and the opinionated Cajun woman in down the hall (to be fair, all Cajun women are opinionated). The Entrepreneur is identical to the other entrepreneurs I’ve met, with his love of coffee and his drive constantly in overdrive. I'd know that air of affable ruthlessness anywhere. I’ve met him before wearing a different face and different clothes, but it was definitely him.
Then there is the fact that I’m making the same salary that I made 10 years ago.
Oh, yeah. I’m not moving forward at all. This is one big circle. That clearing is the one I rested last time I came this way. There were berries to eat then, but I stripped them from the vines - at least the ripe and almost ripe ones - so there's nothing to eat there now. I’ve seen that tree up ahead before. Notice how the moss is growing in a pattern that almost looks like a laughing face when you look at it from this distance? It’s the same tree, the same moss. I’m sure of it.
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.
Lately it’s occurred to me that my life feels like I am lost in the woods and that I seem to be walking in circles and running into the same landmarks over and over again.
Take my job, for example. Not only do I work with two guys (Frank and Dave) who have the same first names as the two guys I dated before I met my husband, but in the office around the corner from me there is a guy from New York named Mike, just like there was a guy from New York named Mike in the office across from me at Big Death. Frank just hired a new guy to work with Dave, an intense semi-obsessive guy named Ron, like my intense, semi-obsessive kid brother who is also named Ron. The landmarks I recognize from my days at the tech company are the guy named Joe in the front office and the opinionated Cajun woman in down the hall (to be fair, all Cajun women are opinionated). The Entrepreneur is identical to the other entrepreneurs I’ve met, with his love of coffee and his drive constantly in overdrive. I'd know that air of affable ruthlessness anywhere. I’ve met him before wearing a different face and different clothes, but it was definitely him.
Then there is the fact that I’m making the same salary that I made 10 years ago.
Oh, yeah. I’m not moving forward at all. This is one big circle. That clearing is the one I rested last time I came this way. There were berries to eat then, but I stripped them from the vines - at least the ripe and almost ripe ones - so there's nothing to eat there now. I’ve seen that tree up ahead before. Notice how the moss is growing in a pattern that almost looks like a laughing face when you look at it from this distance? It’s the same tree, the same moss. I’m sure of it.
