Wednesday – Dixie Diatribe
Nov. 11th, 2009 10:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
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Almost every place I have worked, I have run into a woman like Big Death's Dixie. Her face is different, her name is different, but she is – in essence – the same woman. At Big Death, Dixie was 50ish with an out of date haircut and jowls. At the technology company where I used to work, her name was Candace and she was in her early 20s; she was briefly a manager over me before it became clear that she'd lied about her credentials and got laid off. At the toll road authority she was in her 40s and her name was Becky; she was the administrative assistant in the personnel department. Because I did not have to work directly with Becky she and I got along quite well, but she made life a living hell for my friend Joy, who had to work closely with her.
A Dixie is always charming, but rarely pretty. In fact, two out the three Dixies I've known have been on the plain side, but they made up for their lack of attractiveness by having 10 times the moxie of everyone else around them. A Dixie can kiss up to management in a way that is almost pornographic in how far she is willing to take it. When a Dixie decides she doesn't like you she will talk to your manager with a sad, serious expression and will explain with great earnestness how she has tried to work with you – tried, tried, tried! – but that despite her best efforts you just won't get with the program. You are the problem, a Dixie will make it clear. Every little mistake you have made will be magnified and every quirk you have will be presented as a character flaw.
Dixies are drama queens, but they are subtle enough at it – no tears, just headshakes and pained expressions – that their audiences believe the show is in fact real life. If the manager is a man he will probably fall for it. Many women can spot a Dixie from a mile away; but since she has no exact male counterpart few men can ever see her for what she is unless they are the one of the people she is gunning for (by which point it is too late for them).
The first time I meet a Dixie I get a "be careful" vibe from her. I know instinctively that as long as this woman likes you she will be easy to work with – bubbly, friendly and helpful – but as soon as she decides she doesn't she will become dangerous. Once a Dixie decides you are a problem she will show no mercy. It's not that Dixies go out of their way to make life hard for what they see as innocent people. A Dixies' emotional make up allows her to rationalize that if she doesn't like you then you must be evil, and destroying you is her moral duty. Her earnestness is sincere, and this is part of what makes dealing with her so treacherous. Like the people who strap bombs to cars and blow up innocent bystanders to make a political point, she is a true-believing zealot when it comes to thinking that her office rivals are the devil. She is the work-place equivalent of a terrorist, though a Dixie will stop short of killing you and content herself with getting you written up and ultimately fired.
After all my years in the workforce, I wish I had some advice on dealing with Dixies and neutralizing them. I don't. The best I can come up with is: don't work with one if it can be avoided. If you get a job offer from a company and it involves working with a bubbly, charming woman who gives off a "you'd better stay on my good side" vibe, turn it down unless doing so will mean you will starve to death. If you find yourself working with a Dixie, don't try to upstage her, do laugh at all her stupid jokes and don't ever suggest to her that she may be wrong about something or (worse) someone. If you are like me, you may be able to keep this façade up for a week, maybe a week and a half. After that, you're toast.
Losing your job always puts a cloud over your day, but losing your job after working with a Dixie at least has a silver lining. As you drive away from your former place of employment you get to think, I may not know how I'm going to buy groceries after this last paycheck is spent, but at least I won't ever have to see that crazy b#tch again. That thought is sure to put a smile on your face.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
.
.
Almost every place I have worked, I have run into a woman like Big Death's Dixie. Her face is different, her name is different, but she is – in essence – the same woman. At Big Death, Dixie was 50ish with an out of date haircut and jowls. At the technology company where I used to work, her name was Candace and she was in her early 20s; she was briefly a manager over me before it became clear that she'd lied about her credentials and got laid off. At the toll road authority she was in her 40s and her name was Becky; she was the administrative assistant in the personnel department. Because I did not have to work directly with Becky she and I got along quite well, but she made life a living hell for my friend Joy, who had to work closely with her.
A Dixie is always charming, but rarely pretty. In fact, two out the three Dixies I've known have been on the plain side, but they made up for their lack of attractiveness by having 10 times the moxie of everyone else around them. A Dixie can kiss up to management in a way that is almost pornographic in how far she is willing to take it. When a Dixie decides she doesn't like you she will talk to your manager with a sad, serious expression and will explain with great earnestness how she has tried to work with you – tried, tried, tried! – but that despite her best efforts you just won't get with the program. You are the problem, a Dixie will make it clear. Every little mistake you have made will be magnified and every quirk you have will be presented as a character flaw.
Dixies are drama queens, but they are subtle enough at it – no tears, just headshakes and pained expressions – that their audiences believe the show is in fact real life. If the manager is a man he will probably fall for it. Many women can spot a Dixie from a mile away; but since she has no exact male counterpart few men can ever see her for what she is unless they are the one of the people she is gunning for (by which point it is too late for them).
The first time I meet a Dixie I get a "be careful" vibe from her. I know instinctively that as long as this woman likes you she will be easy to work with – bubbly, friendly and helpful – but as soon as she decides she doesn't she will become dangerous. Once a Dixie decides you are a problem she will show no mercy. It's not that Dixies go out of their way to make life hard for what they see as innocent people. A Dixies' emotional make up allows her to rationalize that if she doesn't like you then you must be evil, and destroying you is her moral duty. Her earnestness is sincere, and this is part of what makes dealing with her so treacherous. Like the people who strap bombs to cars and blow up innocent bystanders to make a political point, she is a true-believing zealot when it comes to thinking that her office rivals are the devil. She is the work-place equivalent of a terrorist, though a Dixie will stop short of killing you and content herself with getting you written up and ultimately fired.
After all my years in the workforce, I wish I had some advice on dealing with Dixies and neutralizing them. I don't. The best I can come up with is: don't work with one if it can be avoided. If you get a job offer from a company and it involves working with a bubbly, charming woman who gives off a "you'd better stay on my good side" vibe, turn it down unless doing so will mean you will starve to death. If you find yourself working with a Dixie, don't try to upstage her, do laugh at all her stupid jokes and don't ever suggest to her that she may be wrong about something or (worse) someone. If you are like me, you may be able to keep this façade up for a week, maybe a week and a half. After that, you're toast.
Losing your job always puts a cloud over your day, but losing your job after working with a Dixie at least has a silver lining. As you drive away from your former place of employment you get to think, I may not know how I'm going to buy groceries after this last paycheck is spent, but at least I won't ever have to see that crazy b#tch again. That thought is sure to put a smile on your face.
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no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-11 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-12 12:42 am (UTC)At my next review, with another monitor, I got an almost-perfect review. When I asked him in confusion about "Dixie's" review, he told me that it was almost impossible to skip questions. Since he didn't actually listen to the same calls that she had, though, there wasn't anything he could do about her review.
I later found out that "Dixie" had a crush on a guy who had invited me out to lunch with him during my training period. Apparently, she saw us together (as coworkers, I had no romantic interest in him) at some point and decided that I was "the enemy."
And no, she wasn't attractive.
You really have a knack for sizing people up. I wish I could do that.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-12 01:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-12 02:36 pm (UTC)Sure, it'd be fun to push them in front of a moving bus, but there's always going to be a Dixie (or some other anti-social variation) at any job. The trick will be
in figuring out how to poison their coffee and get away with itto devise a Dixie-proof corporate-survival strategy.no subject
Date: 2009-11-12 04:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-12 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 01:43 pm (UTC)The payroll lady was good friends with her and always witchy to me unless she wanted something.
And the Accounts Receivable Lady was also in cahoots with them. She was the nicest of the 3, but when it comes to snakes, you can still be poisoned..even by the "nice" ones...
no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 09:05 pm (UTC)