Thursday – What kind of mother…
Feb. 19th, 2009 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninanevermore.
.
.
...threatens to make her 4 year old ride home in the truck of the car if he doesn't stop screaming at the top of his lungs from the back seat?
Understand, it's a small car. Take into account that the child has a very healthy set of lungs. Keep in mind that it had been a very long day at the office for me, but not as long as it was for his teachers, judging from the reports I'd had to sign and the call I'd gotten at work from the director of the center asking, "Do you have any suggestions on how we can handle him when he gets like this?"
She was sympathetic. Her own child is bipolar, she told me. But we need to find a solution for my son's acting out. I agreed.
I talked to my little guy about what all he'd done that day, including biting a child who had dared attempt to play with "his dirt" on the playground (he must have been building a dirt structure and another boy tried to commandeer the soil for his own nefarious purposes).
My son was outraged that his teacher had written notes to me. What happens at daycare is supposed to stay at daycare, in his mind. That they could disclose his antics to his mother seemed like a huge invasion of privacy. The idea made him scream in fury.
My threat was implied. After an order to stop screaming didn't get him to stop, I casually asked, "Do you want to ride home in the trunk of the car? It's dark in there, but you could scream all you wanted."
I felt like a heel, but those muffled sobs were so much easier to listen to.
He doesn't need to know that I would never do that to him.
We'll just keep that our little secret.
Shhhhhhhhh.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * # * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
.
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...threatens to make her 4 year old ride home in the truck of the car if he doesn't stop screaming at the top of his lungs from the back seat?
Understand, it's a small car. Take into account that the child has a very healthy set of lungs. Keep in mind that it had been a very long day at the office for me, but not as long as it was for his teachers, judging from the reports I'd had to sign and the call I'd gotten at work from the director of the center asking, "Do you have any suggestions on how we can handle him when he gets like this?"
She was sympathetic. Her own child is bipolar, she told me. But we need to find a solution for my son's acting out. I agreed.
I talked to my little guy about what all he'd done that day, including biting a child who had dared attempt to play with "his dirt" on the playground (he must have been building a dirt structure and another boy tried to commandeer the soil for his own nefarious purposes).
My son was outraged that his teacher had written notes to me. What happens at daycare is supposed to stay at daycare, in his mind. That they could disclose his antics to his mother seemed like a huge invasion of privacy. The idea made him scream in fury.
My threat was implied. After an order to stop screaming didn't get him to stop, I casually asked, "Do you want to ride home in the trunk of the car? It's dark in there, but you could scream all you wanted."
I felt like a heel, but those muffled sobs were so much easier to listen to.
He doesn't need to know that I would never do that to him.
We'll just keep that our little secret.
Shhhhhhhhh.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:26 pm (UTC)I'm not a parent but...........
Date: 2009-02-19 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:59 pm (UTC)And I love the Vegas Daycare.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 09:02 pm (UTC)your mother is all knowing and all seeing. It is part of why you were given to her. You can not fool her. ever. She was made for you.
dear mom,
cement this in his mind now. You will really thank me when he is 13
Re: I'm not a parent but...........
Date: 2009-02-19 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:41 am (UTC)At the time, I thought she was nuts. Now, it all makes perfect sense to me...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 05:20 am (UTC)Why, yes, I did have a phone conversation with my mother tonight. Why do you ask?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 01:37 pm (UTC)I used the line for many years while working in an elementary school, with full approval of my principal. Of course, now federal law prohibits this -- you pretty much cannot use the words "shot/shoot/gun" in a school building at all.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 02:15 pm (UTC)That or sell them on ebay.
I'm all for ideas on stopping a biter. I have on in MY daycare and the other mother/father are getting pissed, though they understand there is only so much I can do. They're only 2.5...and so you're limited as far as parental discipline too, as I'm sure you know well.
*HUGS NINA TIGHT* WE know you'd never do that to him...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 06:14 pm (UTC)My kids on the other hand behaved well for the most part. They were punished when they misbehaved and felt the consequences of their behavior quite firmly. Simply put, they were held accountable. I used to threaten them with child abuse--yes--a beating. Of course they never were abused, but they knew when that threat was pulled out, they were close to unpleasant consequences and it was best not to go there. They also believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
This lasted for years until once when threatened with a beating, my middle school age son threatened to report me for child abuse. I picked up the phone and said, "Let me dial the number for you. But you better have some place else to live because you're not coming back here."
That worked another couple years until once again he challenged me, and told me to dial the number. So I rang up the non-emergency number to the police. I can't remember what the argument was about. But they sent an officer out. He listened to me, listened to my son, then read him the Riot Act on how good he had it and how he REALLY needed to behave better. He also offered to remove him from the house but my son declined.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:28 pm (UTC)By the way, I live in Tomball, Texas. Aka, Redneckville. I promise you, if I were inclined to beat my son with a switch out here, no one would raise an eyebrow. I just think there are more effective means of discipline.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:42 pm (UTC)2 year olds are generally on the verge of outgrowing the behavior. My kid is still engaged in a behavior that other kids gave up over a year ago, which draws attention.
On the up side, I've peaked at his teacher's notebook (she keeps a little diary on her desk about what happens each day in class), and there are a couple of other very aggressive boys who hit, kick and throw things whose names come up a lot more often than my son's does. When he's good, he's pretty good. It's just that on the nights that he doesn't get to sleep (like the night before this last episode) or he feels a little bad, he's a little hellion. *sigh*
*hugs Dawn back*
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:48 pm (UTC)Then again, when I was little we used to sing a song to the tune of "The Battlefield of the Republic" that went like:
My eyes have seen the glory
of the burning of the school;
we have tortured every teacher,
we have broken every rule;
we're gonna hang the principle
by his necktie after school
our day is marching on...
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Teacher hit me with a ruler;
met her at the door with a loaded .44
and she ain't my teacher no more!
I guess the difference was, back then we didn't mean it...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:51 pm (UTC)Teenagers; gotta love them. Hard to like them, but you still gotta love them.
I believe in discipline. Without discipline, a child doesn't learn self discipline.
I guess the reason I felt guilty is that I was only half kidding. I really wanted to put him in the trunk if he didn't stop screaming. I knew I couldn't and shouldn't, but I so wanted to. :P
no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 10:11 pm (UTC)