ninanevermore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninanevermore) wrote2009-10-19 02:41 pm
ninanevermore) wrote2009-10-19 02:41 pm
Entry tags:
Monday – One Hazard of Job Sites
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Dear Job Candidate,
I came across your resume on INeedAJob.com, and I think you have potential! Your ability to post a resume on a job site indicates that you might have a pulse, and are therefore qualified to work as a direct sales representative for our company!!!
Does the idea of being your own boss, setting your own schedule, and making up to $280,000 or more each year sound appealing to you? If so, then we need to talk!
DeNi-Allclaims Insurance is currently seeking motivated sales people to help grow our organization.
DeNi-Allclaims is a career-driven company that offers an excellent product line, proven marketing systems and extensive training. We choose the best products with the best values to give our clients a number of choices that fit their individual needs (by which we mean, the one that costs the most they can possibly afford).
At DeNi-Allclaims, you are in business for yourself, but never by yourself. Isn't that a relief to you, at home alone scanning the internet for any and all job opportunities?
Our compensation program includes bonuses and commissions, including lifetime residuals for producers who meet vesting requirements, lead allowances and daily advances on select products. Many DeNi-Allclaims agents and managers enjoy substantial incomes. In case you aren't that bright (and many in sales aren't!), "substantial income" means "lots and lots of money!!!"
If you are interested in an agent or management opportunity, please contact me at ###-###-#### to schedule an interview! After all, you're unemployed -- what else do you have to do besides waste your time showing up to a group interview for a job that doesn't exactly promise to pay you anything, even if you get it?
I look forward to meeting with you in the near future!
Best Regards,
Joe B. Sincere, Jr.
Why, why, why do I make my resumes searchable, when I know that doing so is only going to clog up my spam filter and is not likely to result in any actual viable job offers?
Because hope springs eternal, I guess.
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.
.
Dear Job Candidate,
I came across your resume on INeedAJob.com, and I think you have potential! Your ability to post a resume on a job site indicates that you might have a pulse, and are therefore qualified to work as a direct sales representative for our company!!!
Does the idea of being your own boss, setting your own schedule, and making up to $280,000 or more each year sound appealing to you? If so, then we need to talk!
DeNi-Allclaims Insurance is currently seeking motivated sales people to help grow our organization.
DeNi-Allclaims is a career-driven company that offers an excellent product line, proven marketing systems and extensive training. We choose the best products with the best values to give our clients a number of choices that fit their individual needs (by which we mean, the one that costs the most they can possibly afford).
At DeNi-Allclaims, you are in business for yourself, but never by yourself. Isn't that a relief to you, at home alone scanning the internet for any and all job opportunities?
Our compensation program includes bonuses and commissions, including lifetime residuals for producers who meet vesting requirements, lead allowances and daily advances on select products. Many DeNi-Allclaims agents and managers enjoy substantial incomes. In case you aren't that bright (and many in sales aren't!), "substantial income" means "lots and lots of money!!!"
If you are interested in an agent or management opportunity, please contact me at ###-###-#### to schedule an interview! After all, you're unemployed -- what else do you have to do besides waste your time showing up to a group interview for a job that doesn't exactly promise to pay you anything, even if you get it?
I look forward to meeting with you in the near future!
Best Regards,
Joe B. Sincere, Jr.
Why, why, why do I make my resumes searchable, when I know that doing so is only going to clog up my spam filter and is not likely to result in any actual viable job offers?
Because hope springs eternal, I guess.
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Great post.
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