I would say that its because they are emotionally drained from dealing with my bulimia. Except, when I told my mom in 1999(the first time I was hospitalized for it) I was bulimic, she said "well its obviously not working because you're still fat." My sister said I have "mental munchausens" meaning I fake psychiatric illness for attention. Flaws in that theory...IF I were doing it for attention in the 15yrs PREVIOUS to this one, why the hell would I HIDE the shit I do? Until recently my in laws didn't know about it. My in laws aren't responsible for me so why would they help out financially? Maybe if they thought I was worth saving they would? The only member of my family that would help me is my dad and he has no money. My grandparents bought my sister a new car for xmas but, I can't get help for this thing that's gonna kill me. I'm not important to anyone but my kids. Yes I know I have friends who care and would be sad if I died but they'd go on. Maybe miss me now and then but that's it. I wouldn't want anything else from my friends anyway. Its my family who NEEDS to help and NEEDS to love me. They just don't and never have and that hurts. Again I'm really sorry I shouldn't put all this doomsday shit in your journal.