ninanevermore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ninanevermore) wrote2010-07-02 12:21 pm
ninanevermore) wrote2010-07-02 12:21 pm
Friday – The Difference Between Men and Women
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Given the exact same set of circumstances, a man and a woman will chose different actions. Take, for example, the case where a husband (full disclosure: my husband) locks himself out of the car while dropping our son off at the babysitter’s house. It is the old Mercury Cougar we bought off his mother some years ago, circa the late 1980s (when you open the console between the front seats, it has an analog phone attached to the car by a genuine cord ). The doors have keypads that you can enter a 4 digit code on to open them in the case that you lock yourself out. Many moons ago, I carried this code around on a scrap of paper in my wallet. I threw that scrap of paper out seven or eight years ago, but my husband called me in desperation hoping I might still have it.
“No, not any more. You can call triple A, though. Since we have a membership, they’ll send someone out to unlock the car.”
“Mmmm. Okay, fine.”
I called him back later.
“You’re home? So that means you got in the car.”
“Yeah. I broke out a window.”
“You….why? You could have called triple A.”
Which would have meant having another man come out to rescue him, making him look like a wus. There seems to be a strong belief among men that doing something like this would cause their testicles to shrivel up on the spot, making them to sprout breast and raising their voices by several octaves even as the other man looks at them with a sneer and says, So, you locked yourself out, did you, ma’am? I have read of no documented cases of this ever happening, but most men seem to believe that it can and would. Somewhere back in the lizard part of his brain my husband believes that if he had called triple A, I would no longer have a husband – I would have a wife.
“Look, it’s done, okay? I broke out a window and I was able to drive home. I just have to replace the window.”
“But if you’d called…”
“I know! I don’t want to talk about it. I got in the car, and that’s all that matters.”
“Okay. I’m glad you made it home, hon.”
“Thank you.”
And so it goes.
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PS: To those of you reading in the United States, happy Forth of July!
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Given the exact same set of circumstances, a man and a woman will chose different actions. Take, for example, the case where a husband (full disclosure: my husband) locks himself out of the car while dropping our son off at the babysitter’s house. It is the old Mercury Cougar we bought off his mother some years ago, circa the late 1980s (when you open the console between the front seats, it has an analog phone attached to the car by a genuine cord ). The doors have keypads that you can enter a 4 digit code on to open them in the case that you lock yourself out. Many moons ago, I carried this code around on a scrap of paper in my wallet. I threw that scrap of paper out seven or eight years ago, but my husband called me in desperation hoping I might still have it.
“No, not any more. You can call triple A, though. Since we have a membership, they’ll send someone out to unlock the car.”
“Mmmm. Okay, fine.”
I called him back later.
“You’re home? So that means you got in the car.”
“Yeah. I broke out a window.”
“You….why? You could have called triple A.”
Which would have meant having another man come out to rescue him, making him look like a wus. There seems to be a strong belief among men that doing something like this would cause their testicles to shrivel up on the spot, making them to sprout breast and raising their voices by several octaves even as the other man looks at them with a sneer and says, So, you locked yourself out, did you, ma’am? I have read of no documented cases of this ever happening, but most men seem to believe that it can and would. Somewhere back in the lizard part of his brain my husband believes that if he had called triple A, I would no longer have a husband – I would have a wife.
“Look, it’s done, okay? I broke out a window and I was able to drive home. I just have to replace the window.”
“But if you’d called…”
“I know! I don’t want to talk about it. I got in the car, and that’s all that matters.”
“Okay. I’m glad you made it home, hon.”
“Thank you.”
And so it goes.
PS: To those of you reading in the United States, happy Forth of July!
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